Accidental healing  previously title unknown
by futuremrshudson
Summary: Lucy is involved in a car accident.  If she does survive will her and Myles feelings of guilt over the accident bring them together or keep them apart and to top it all off she has to deal with the recovery and consequences of the accident on her own body
1. Chapter 1

**Here ya go - this is the one I started about Myles and Lucy but decided to go in a different direction x **

Lucy Dotson was having the morning from hell; she had done nothing but clash with Randy all morning over expense forms, stickies, filing, paperwork everything if Randy could see a way to pick at her he took advantage of it and slowly but surely she was beginning to lose her temper. The only thing she had to look forward to today was a well needed lunch date with her grandmother Alice and her mother Linda, it had been a long time since the three of them had, had lunch but now all three were in DC and determined to take advantage.

Walking back into the bullpen she was glad it was quiet, Jack and Sue were still involved in their undercover, Myles and D were interviewing a suspect and finally Bobby and Tara were out following leads. Glancing at her watch she had at least an hour before the appointment so carried on with mountain of paperwork that was gradually building on her desk. It wasn't long before her peace was disturbed by an irate Myles storming through the bullpen, slamming his keys on the desk and practically throwing his files across the table

"Everything ok Myles" Lucy asked

"Obviously bloody not, or are you so caught up in Lucy's world that you don't notice what is going on around you" he snapped back

"Sorry for breathing Myles, the next time I have concern for a co-worker I'll keep my mouth shut. I only thought that maybe I could help or even listen"

"You keeping your mouth shut, now that will be a first"

"Well believe you me you want here my voice for the rest of the day, I'm going to lunch in a few minutes so how about you and I just sit in silence"

"The perfect day then" Myles snapped back, as he practically threw his chair before sitting on it

Lucy sat back at her desk fuming, who the hell did he think he was talking to her like that, she was about to get up and yell at him some more before demanding an apology when her grandmother walked in

"Hi grandma"

"Hey baby, come here and give me some sugar"

Lucy smiled and got up to hug Alice, "So Grams you ready to go lunch?"

"Definitely baby girl"

With that she grabbed her coat and linking her arm with her grandmother she walked out the door determined to forget about the argument she had, had with Myles.

"You ok baby girl?" her grandmother asked when she saw the look on Lucy's face

"I'm fine Grams, I've had a bit of a rough morning and well let's just say Myles made me realise why I had broken up with him"

"Well now you can forget about your morning and allow your old grandma to spoil you at lunch"

"You don't have to do that Grams"

"I know baby girl, but my one granddaughter is off travelling the world, my grandsons are both busy with their own lives so I have no choice but to devote all my attention to you, especially when I can see that the argument with Myles has really affected you"

"In that case then Grams I accept" she replied laughing thankful that she had her Grams there to support her.

"So then baby, let's go and pick up your mom and I'll treat you both to lunch as The Boathouse"

"The Boathouse, Grams did you win the lotto"

"No, baby but my girl needs cheering up so I'm gonna do it"

"Thanks Grams, I love you"

"I love you right back baby girl"

With that the two ladies got in the car and headed towards the shopping mall where they were to meet Lucy's mom

"Well hello you two" She said cheery as she got in the car

"Hi mom" Lucy added with less conviction

"Hey sweetheart what wrongs everything ok" she asked concerned for her daughter

"I'm fine mom, I've had a rough morning and Myles was a jerk earlier"

"That man, I tell you honey you are better off without him"

"I know mom, can we please stop talking about him it's really not helping my mood"

"Ok baby"

"Hey I know what will help your mood sugar" Alice replied as she got a CD out of her bag "Here you go baby girl" she continued handing Lucy the disc, taking it she put it in the player and before long Lucy's favourite Abba song Volez Vous filled the car all three ladies singing happily

Lucy continued their drive to The Boathouse, her, her Grams and her mom still singing along to the Abba CD, hearing her phone ringing cancelled the call after seeing that the caller was Myles

Turning around one corner Lucy was once again distracted for a few seconds as she cancelled the call.

That was the last time she was going to cancel the call. The van and police car sped around the corner directly in front of them, Lucy hit the brake but it was too late the car smashed into the side of the van causing the lorry behind them to crash into Lucy effectively crushing her car in the process.

Lucy tried to move, she needed to make sure her mother and grandmother were ok but the raging pain in her back, neck and legs made any movement impossible, trying hard not to cry due to the pain she turned her head slightly her grandmothers bruised and bloodied face being the last thing she saw before her eyes slowly closed.

Myles sat at desk cursing himself he didn't mean to take his frustrations out on Lucy but he had just discovered that the suspect in their rape case was the one who attacked his sister just a few months ago and it was the smugness of the man that had wound him up, especially when he began bragging about how much she enjoyed the experience. D had to practically grab him off the guy and throw him out of the interview room, frustrated and angry he had come storming back into the bullpen and poor Lucy had received the brunt of his explosion.

"Myles you complete idiot" he mentally cursed to himself, picking up his phone he called her number, needing to apologise, trying several times before finally giving up

He tried concentrating on his report but his thoughts kept reverting back to the argument with Lucy, what was he thinking saying that to her, he hadn't meant any of it, he still cared about her in fact her voice often made his day brighter, he didn't just care about her, he loved her... His train of thought was interrupted by the office phone ringing

"Myles Leyland" he answered

(Myles its Ted Cooper, from Metro PD)

"Hey Ted, what's up" he asked one of his close friends in a cheery voice

(Myles I don't know how to put this, there's been a bad car accident on K Street. I think you need to get down here right now)

Myles heart stopped "An accident who? Is it Anne?"

(No Myles it's not Anne, its Lucy)

"Lucy, is she ok?"

(Myles the accident is really bad you need to come down here)

Myles didn't answer he just put the phone down and was out of the door, speeding through the streets of DC. It wasn't long before he could see the flashing lights of the accident scene in front of him. Stopping his car in the small car-park he took a deep breath and prepared himself for what he was going to see at the scene. As he slowly approached the wrecked car all his FBI training failed him, he had witnessed accidents scenes before, but this wasn't some stranger he didn't know this was Lucy the woman he cared deeply for, no not cared deeply, loved he loved her.

"Ted" Myles practically whispered as he saw his friend

"Myles hi"

"Do you have any idea what happened?"

"Not really, the van was being chased by the police car and it seems to have pulled out in front of Lucy's car"

"Is she alright? Was anyone else in the car? Is her grandmother alright?"

Ted Cooper took a deep breath he really didn't want to have this conversation with Myles but he knew it was better coming from him than some random guy Myles didn't know

"Myles, let's move over here a bit" Ted replied placing his arm on his friends shoulder

This worried Myles, Ted was never one to have secret conversation

"Myles, I don't know how to tell you this but here goes, Lucy was in the car with her grandmother and mother and I'm sorry to have to this Myles but there has been two fatalities"

**Ok I know I'm naughty for letting you hang on like this but the next part is 90% written so it should be up tomorrow x **

**Please review xx **


	2. Chapter 2

**Quick note guys - I've been having real trouble with this site over the last few days - I keep getting error messages - so I am going to apologise in advance if it takes me a while to update the story - this chapter has been written since yesterday afternoon but has taken until now to upload and attach - it is very annoying **

**Next chapter - it is a very short one -I should get the next one finished and uploaded by the end of today (well hopefully anyway)**

'Two fatalities' these words circled Myles head, his breathing hitched in his throat, his chest felt tight, he felt like he wanted to scream, he felt like he wanted to cry, he felt sick, he felt dizzy, he felt so many things right now he couldn't determine one feeling from another

"Who" he managed to get out in a shaky whisper, barely even audible to Ted who was standing next to him

"Myles, you and I both know I can't tell you who that is until the next of kin has been informed and formally identifies the bodies, now I need to get in contact with the families next and I need your help to do so, do you know who her next of kin is"

"Her grandmother and mother are Lucy's next of kin, she has a sister but she is on a backpacking tour somewhere in the middle of Asia, it may say something in her medical notes about Sue being an emergancy contact but I'll have to check with Ted or Randy about that, but if you need to know who Lucy's next of Kin is does that mean Lucy is? Is Lucy?" he tried to ask the question but it wasn't coming out, it was as if his mind had already prepared itself for the answer, but until he had an answer he wasn't listening to the voices in his head

Shaking his head he tried again "What I'm trying to ask is, is Lucy... One of the fatalities?" he asked in another barely there whisper

"Myles I can't give you that information with out a next of kin or family members approval, I don't have the authority, maybe the coroner would be willing to do so, he's over there" Ted added pointing in the direction of a small crouched over a body bag

"Thank you" Myles added calmly, even though inside his frustrations were beginning to get the better of him, he needed to know who the fatalities were, he knew there was a one in three chance that it could be Lucy and that scared the hell out of him, the last time he felt this way when was he thought Anne was in danger during the Callahan and Merced case.

Slowly but surely he made what seemed the longest walk in history to a dark haired man in his late forties giving instructions on where to take the bodies

"Excuse me" Myles spoke

"Yes, can I help?"

"Myles Leyland III FBI, one of my co-workers was involved in the accident; she was travelling in the black sedan, her next of kin is somewhere in Asia, so what do I need to do to make the formal identification?" Myles asked slowly trying to stop the nausea leaving his stomach with every word

"Mr Leyland, until the next of kin has been contacted I cannot allow that, if after six hours no formal identification has been made by a family member then a co-worker would be acceptable, but you do know it is not confirmed that your co-worker is one of the victims, which is why we would prefer a family member do the identifications"

"Yes, Yes I know but what you are basically saying is that I have to wait for six hours to know whether or not my co-worker is alive or dead" Myles added in a slight rage

"Mr Leyland that is not my call it is the law, I, like you have rules I have to work by and that is one of them"

Myles didn't answer he just walked back to his car, he had to try and find Connie, but without any contact details he had no idea where to even start, the only people who would have any idea how to get in contact with her were Lucy, her mother or her grandmother. Sitting in his car, he was about to turn on the engine to leave when his eyes gazed at the accident scene just as Lucy's smashed up car was being lifted in the air by the recovery service, the sight the wreckage being enough to break him and for the next few minutes he did something he hadn't done in a long time, he cried.

**Ok I don't know if there is a law regarding the identification of a body because I have never had to do it. I just worte that to add to the suspence and detail - Once again I appologise for the shortness - I promise in the next chapter you will find out who the fatalities are **

**Please review x **


	3. Chapter 3

**As promised here is the next longer chapter xx **

**Only own those you don't recognise xx and as promised the fatalities are revealed xxx **

A few moments later Myles finally found the strength to stop his tears, he didn't have the time to sit in his car doing nothing, he had too much to do, he needed to find Connie, he needed to speak to Ted and Randy, he needed to speak to Sue but more than that he needed to know if Lucy was alive.

Starting the engine he made the journey back to the bullpen, parking his car in the garage he took the short elevator ride to the 5th floor and slowly but surely entered the bullpen, where Bobby, Tara and D all now sat

"Myles you had no right to attack that gut you did" D blew up at him when he saw him

"D, please not now, I promise you can yell at me all you want just not right now" Myles said sitting at Lucy's desk while he rummaged through her papers, he was on a mission to find something, anything that would give an indication on how to get in contact with Connie

"Myles what are you doing?" Tara asked obviously confused as to why he had this sudden urgency to rifle through Lucy's desk

Myles didn't answer, he just continued to search, and every now and then swiping at the small tears falling from his eyes, hopefully before any of his co-workers noticed them

Bobby who had been watching Myles since he came through the door hadn't noticed the tears but the redness of his eyes and face spoke volumes and slowly made his way to his distressed co-worker

"You ok mate" Bobby asked concerned for his friend when he saw the redness of his eyes and the visible shaking

"No" Myles added, he didn't want to talk about, in his mind he needed to do this by himself as a way of making it up to Lucy for yelling at her less than two hours ago, but she was their friend as well, they had a right to know.

Tara and D headed towards Lucy's desk, they knew that whatever was wrong with Myles had nothing to do with the interview, this was more than that.

"Myles talk to us please, what's wrong?" Tara added softly

"I don't know how to put it, I don' know where to start" He added swiping more tears

"Its ok mate, just take it slowly, we have all afternoon" Bobby added, his usual wit, teasing and sparkle gone

Myles took a deep breath hoping it would give him the courage to tell his closest friends that there was a chance their co-worker was laying in a morgue

"I received a phone call earlier from Ted Cooper, there was an accident on K Street; a police car was chasing a van when a black sedan car smashed into the side of it. The sudden impact of the vehicles caused a lorry to smash into the black sedan. There were three passengers in the sedan, two of them were killed on impact but one survived..." He trailed off for a few moments as he struggled with his emotions

"Myles?" Tara added crouching, placing a hand on his

Myles looked down at Tara's hand on his and somehow it had given him the courage to contine, "The driver of the black sedan, it was... it was Lucy" he sobbed as Tara moved to place her hand on her mouth as she gasped, followed by Bobby and D

"Oh my God" Bobby finally spoke "Is she?"

"I don't know the coroner wouldn't tell me, we either need to get in contact with her sister but she is somewhere in Asia or we need to find out if Sue is mentioned as her emergency contact on her medical files"

"Who was in the car with her?" D asked the sadness evident in his voice

"Her mother and grandmother were with her" Myles added "So I need to find Connie, there has to be a number here for her somewhere" he added urgently rummaging through the desk

"Myles, Myles" Tara grabbed his hands while fighting back her own tears, causing him to look at her "Come on you and I will go and talk to Randy and Ted about her emergency contacts, D and Bobby will continue looking, you need to get out of here"

"OK" he added with a small voice, before standing and grabbing hold of Tara's outstretched hand, as she led him towards Ted office. After Tara managed to explain everything he suggested it would be more helpful and useful if they spoke to Randy since he dealt with all medical notes and requirements

"I'll make contact with Jack and Sue" Ted added "Just encase" he continued as Myles and Tara excited his office.

A short, slow dazed walk later Myles and Tara found themselves outside Randy's office

"Leyland, before you ask no I am not reimbursing your rental for the plane ride to ..."

"Randy, just shut up and listen for once" Tara added snappily effectively cutting him off

"Miss Williams I do not know who you think you are or who you think you are speaking to but I will not shut up, if it wasn't for me you would not get paid or have any office supplies"

"Randy! SHUT UP!" Myles yelled right in his face causing him to retort back in fright "This has NOTHIHNG to do with office supplies or reimbursements. There are more important things in this world than office supplies" Myles snapped before turning his head away

"Its Ok Myles" Tara added calmly "Randy, please can we just ask a question this is very important"

"O O OK" he added his voice still shaking from Myles sudden outburst

"We need to know who Lucy's emergency contacts are, Lucy was involved in a serious car accident just over an hour ago, she was with her grandmother and mother, two of them were killed in the accident and only her next of kin or emergency contact can find out if Lucy was one of them"

Randy looked at the pair of agents in his office, he knew they were being serious by the looks on their face, so without mentioning another word or sarcastic remark he began furiously typing at his computer. A few moments later he looked up "Her emergency contacts and next of kin are listed as Mrs A Dotson, Mrs L Dotson, Miss C Dotson, Miss S Thomas and Mr M Leyland"

"ME!" Myles added somewhat shocked at the revelation

"Yes"

"I guess she figured you would always take care of her" Tara added softly

"Yeah I guess so" Myles added "Thank you Randy"

"You're welcome and I really hope Miss Dotson..." he didn't need to finish the sentence, Myles and Tara knew what he meant

Myles and Tara excited Randy's office, medical printouts in hand and were back in the bullpen to grab his keys

"What did you find out?" Bobby asked softly

"Myles is mentioned as one of Lucy's emergency contacts" Tara answered

As she finished all four agents were out the door and on their way to the coroner's office, flashing badges as they entered

"Mr Leyland" The short man from the accident answered, "Nothing has changed Mr Leyland, I still can't tell you"

"Yes you can" Bobby butted in practically forcing the piece of paper mentioning Myles as a contact in front of the small man

"Very well, follow me please Mr Leyland" he replied as he looked at the paper

"Want me to come with?" Bobby offered, placing a hand on the Harvard Grad's shoulder

Myles shook his head; this was something he needed to do by himself.

The short man, who Myles had recently learned was called Jeff, led Myles through a large door, the room was musky smelling, small, cramped, had a large curtain covered window on the left hand wall and another door in front of him. Standing in front of the window, Jeff placed a gentle hand on his shoulder,

"Ready" he asked earning a nod from Myles, before pulling the curtain back

Myles collapsed against the glass as the tears flowed from his eyes at the sight of the woman lying in front of him

"It's not Lucy" Myles spoke softly as his voice suddenly returned "Its Alice Dotson, Lucy's grandmother"

"You sure" Jeff asked earning a nod from Myles "OK, thank you Myles" Jeff replied before taking his shoulder and leading him through the next door in to another room.

The room was exactly the same, same musky damp smell, same size and the same large curtain covering the same window on the same wall. The only difference was instead of another door in front of them there was one at the side

"Ready" Jeff asked once more earning another nod "OK" he replied pulling back the curtain

Myles once again fell against the window at the sight of the bruised woman lying on the bench in front of him "It's not her, that's her mother Mrs Linda Dotson" Myles continued in his low and quiet voice

"You sure" Jeff asked once again for clarification purposes, again causing a small nod from Myles "Ok thank you, do you want to stay a moment with either of them"

"No, I have to go and see Lucy; do you know where they took her? I would like to come back later though"

"She's at DC Medical Hospital, there are no problems with coming back, I can see that they both mean a lot to you and I'm very sorry for your loss Mr Leyland"

"They do, they are both good friends of the Bureau, we are like family and our blood relatives are considered part of that family" Myles added sadly, before going through the door to his right, which conveniently led him to his awaiting co-workers

"They weren't her!" he sobbed, the grief and relief suddenly hitting him as he sunk to the floor

"Thank God" his friends whispered simultaneously, as they rushed to his crouching position the same relief hitting them

"It was Alice and Linda, her mother and grandmother" He continued "Lucy is at DC medical"

"Then I think that's where we should go. Ted has been in contact with Jack and Sue, I'll give him more information and they can meet us there" D added

"OK lets go, Lucy needs us" Myles added

"You're right she does, but before you even attempt to argue I'm driving" Bobby added

Myles didn't argue he knew it was pointless instead he followed his friends out of the hospital, Tara's arm hooked in his own.

**So Lucy is alive but that doesn't neccesarily mean she's ok **

**Please review xx x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for your feed back guys - I'm still not sure if I'm going to continue it but I had this chapter done so thouht I'd post it **

The ride to the hospital was almost silent; the only noise was the purring of the engine and the deep voice of D as he contacted Ted, about the location of Lucy. Each of the four friends was lost their own thoughts, each one of them saw what had almost happened to Lucy as a wakeup call while also realising that there was still a very good chance Lucy may not make it, especially since they were still clueless about her condition.

Bobby realised his relationship with Darcy was no longer working, since she had returned from LA she was different, they were different. Sure they still went out for the occasional dinner date but they were more like friends than lovers, yes he still cared about her but he didn't love her, not anymore. Lifting his gaze slightly from the road to look in his rear-view mirror at the traffic behind, his gaze met the person he had been thinking about lately, thinking about a lot actually. Their relationship had changed; they were no longer just friends the relationship seemed to have developed into more, but neither one of them was acknowledging it, some may point out that they were the new Jack and Sue of the office. As his gaze caught hers she gave him that reassuring smile she always did and he knew he no longer loved Darcy he loved Tara and it was time to stop denying it and do something about it.

Demetrius sat in the passenger seat car and thought about much his job had taken him away from his family over the past few weeks. He knew how important spending time with his family was but with the recent serial killer case, the planned attacks on DC and the current case he was spending more time at the office than he was at home. As the team made their way to the hospital where Lucy was he decided that once this current case was over he was going to book some time off and take his family on a well deserved vacation. The accident had taught him several things but the most important was how important family was to him.

Tara sat in the back of the car, Myles's arm still hooked on hers. As she watched him it was clear he was taking everything harder than the rest of them, he looked almost guilty, why she didn't know and with the current state of him she didn't want to push it, so instead she did the only thing she could she held his hand and supported him. Turning her gaze back to the front of the car her eyes caught Bobby's as he looked up, whether he was looking at her she would never know but in her heart she really hoped he was. It had been just over a year since the benefit where they had kissed and even though at the time she was still in a relationship with Stanley, there was still this voice in the back of her head that was telling her Bobby was the one for her, a voice that was not only still there but had also been getting louder the last few weeks. Lucy's accident had taught her one thing and that was life had a way of mixing things up when you least expect them to, no-one has a 80yr guarantee so she was going to make changes to her own life starting with expressing her feelings for the Australian co-worker sat less than two feet away.

The ride to the hospital for Myles was filled with guilt, regret, anger and relief. In his mind the accident was completely his fault, maybe she wasn't concentrating because she was so upset and that's why she hit the car. As the journey continued all he wanted was to take back the last few hours, not interview the suspects, not come storming back into the building, not take all his frustrations out on Lucy and definitely not almost kill her. Placing his head back on the seat he thought about all the wrongs he had done in his life, cheating on Lucy, treating Sue the way he did when she first joined the team, wasting so many years arguing with his parents and Anne, the way he treated Randy and not to mention the years of arguing with Webber, as he closed his eyes he knew he had to make amends for everything he had done starting with Lucy, everyone could wait for now his only focus was Lucy. Taking a deep sigh he knew he had to apologise to her for everything he put her through and he was going to until either she forgave him or told him to shut up even if it took the rest of their lives.

As the car pulled outside the hospital the team exited and made their way towards the main desk, where Bobby approached the small blonde woman behind the desk

"Hello, Bobby Manning, FBI a colleague of mine Lucy Dotson was involved in a car accident a few hours ago I was told she was brought here"

"I'll just check for you sir" she replied before typing furiously at her computer, glancing up a few moments later "Yes, if you would like to take a seat I'll get someone to come and talk to you"

"Thank you"

Bobby made his way back to a frantically pacing Myles "Well, where is she?"

"She's getting the doc to come see us mate, just calm down"

"Not until I know she's ok" he replied as he continued pacing

The team had been waiting around ten minutes when Jack and Sue arrived

"Myles" Sue cried as she ran to hug him "How is she?" she asked before stepping back

"I don't know, we're still waiting for the doctor to come back"

"What about Alice and Linda?"

"They were killed in the accident that's all I know" Myles replied softly causing Sue to turn break down and cry in Jack's arms Linda and Alice weren't just Lucy's family they were hers as well.

A few minutes after Jack and Sue arrived a doctor who was obviously a surgeon approached the team "Mr Manning"

"Yes" Bobby answered

"Hello, my name is Caroline Adams, I have news regarding Miss Dotson, I have just finished operating on her and she is currently being moved to ITU"

"How is she?" Tara asked

"At the moment she is still alive, as for her injuries she has extensive damage to her spleen which we have managed to repair for now, but it may have to be removed, we have removed a piece of glass which had punctured her lung, she had severe and pressure in her brain which we have managed to ease for now but our main concern is the damage to her nervous system in particular her spinal cord."

"Her spinal cord does this mean she's paralysed?" Jack asked

"Until Miss Dotson regains consciousness we cannot determine that, but to minimise the pressure on her spine we have wrapped ninety percent of her body in bandages to minimise the movement and prevent further damage"

"Are there any other injuries?" Myles asked

"She has broken ribs, broken bones in her left leg and foot which we have pinned in surgery; she also has a few minor cuts and bruises which we have managed to stitch"

"How is she doing apart from the injuries? Sue asked

"At the moment she is holding her own, but it has been touch and go a few times, the next twenty four hours are critical, if she manages to hold her own until tomorrow there is a slight chance she will make it, but until she is off the ventilator there is still a strong possibility she may not make it"

"Can we see her?" Myles asked, his voice soft and barely a whisper

"Not until tomorrow we need to prevent infection spreading for the first twelve hours but you can go up to the ITU and see her through the glass, it's on the third floor, but I suggest you all go home to bed and come back tomorrow"

"Ok thank you" D answered

"Before you say anything D I'm not leaving, if any of you want me I'll be on the third floor" Myles stated before D had a chance to say anything else

"Myles" Tara called, but it was too late he was in the elevator on his way to the third floor.

Taking a deep breath Myles exited the elevator and slowly made his way to the ITU window but was pushed out of the way by the crash team barging past him all he could here was the frantic beeping of the emergency equipment coming from the ITU.

"Please no" he whispered as he saw the emergency workers crowding around her lifeless body "I love you Lucy, please don't leave me"

**PLease review - it may make the decision to carry on that little bit easier**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well I don't know if you're all happy to hear this or not but I have decided to continue with this story - well at least for now - I think taking a few days away from it and not ****even looking at it helped me gain more perspective on the story and got me back into it - I'll probably finish it but it may take me a while **

**Quick Note - I know Myles isn't exactly in characture in this one but I just couldn't make him sarcastic and whitty during these first few chapters with poor Lucy being the way she is, the poor guy is heartbroken and in love - I'm actually sympathising with him in this one I really feel for him - (wow never done that before)**

Myles stood watching the crash team fight to save the woman he loved, her body jarring with every shock of the defibrillator or as much as it could with the heavy bandages wrapped around her slim figure. A further ten minutes later Myles watched as the beeping from the heart monitor changed into a low buzzing as Lucy's heart flat-lined

"Come on Lucy, you have to fight this, you have to keep fighting there are too many things I need to tell you, I need you to forgive me for this morning" Myles whispered towards the glass in the hope that somehow she would hear him and fight back

He stood and watched the emergency workers for at least a few more minutes before he saw the doctor glance at her watch, it had been at least fifteen minutes and Lucy was still flat – lining, she had no pulse, no heartbeat there was nothing.

He couldn't hear what the team were saying but he could guess what was being said by the grim look on the face of the doctor. He watched as she said something to the team around her as she checked her watch, before turning to leave the room and talk to Myles, she had just about made it to the door when from somewhere Lucy found the strength to fight and the heart monitors started beeping their normal rhythm. The team of doctors worked around her checking vital signs, all seemingly shocked that this woman had somehow fought back.

The relief Myles felt when he saw the heart monitor return to normal rhythm was enough to cause another breakdown, he was convinced he had lost her in those moments she flat-lined. The doctor, Caroline Adams who the team had spoken to not twenty minutes ago, exited and approached him when she saw his crying form sink into the chair

"Mr Leyland" she spoke softly as she sat next to him

"How is she?" Myles asked not really wanting to know the answer

"She's not doing well, we've had to put her into an enforced coma."

"She's in a coma, isn't that a bad thing"

"Normal yes but this is enforced coma" Caroline added softly

"What's the difference?"

"It basically means that while we try and deal with the pressure in her brain we will keep her unconscious, for now it's the safest option. I have spoken to the police officer and they believe she must have hit her head pretty hard; the force of the impact has caused this swelling. We may have to operate again if her pressure drops, she is a fighter though we actually lost her in there for a while but somehow she came back and right now she is fighting hard. I need to prepare you for the fact that there may be some brain damage because of the amount of time her brain was without oxygen, I'll know more when I run tests."

"Is she going to survive this?" Myles asked quietly

"At the moment I couldn't say, but we will do everything we can to insure she does and as long as she doesn't give up we should be successful." Caroline said trying to reassure the obviously distressed man by the side of her, "She means a lot to you doesn't she?" Caroline asked softly

"She means the world to me, she is my world, I love her and have for a while I just wish I told her sooner" Myles replied sadly as he got up to watch her "Please don't let her leave me"

"You'll have the chance to tell her and I'll certainly try Mr Leyland" she replied softly placing a comforting arm on his shoulder "If you will excuse me I need to go and see another patient on the ward. I'll be back shortly in the meantime try and get some sleep or at least eat something"

"I can't sleep and I'm not hungry, but thank you for everything you have done for her so far" Myles added as he turned his gaze back to the woman lying in front of him.

"I'm just doing my job, if you're not going to eat or sleep then talk to her, talk through the glass"

"Talk to her about what?"

"Anything, everything, talk about family, friends, anything you can think of she'll hear you"

"Oh ok" Myles added some what sceptical, how could he talk to her when she was the other side of a thick Perspex window, but taking a deep breath he began talking about everything, he told her about his new roses, paintings, friends, spoke about how his brother was going to be a father again, just everything that came into his mind and he actually found it easier than he thought. Four hours later, she was still fighting and hadn't flat-lined or caused concern, but Myles was still stood staring at her every now and then he would talk to her but his gaze never once dropped from her peaceful and too many seemingly asleep form.

He could believe her injuries, as he looked at her he took in what he saw. Her slim body was wrapped in white bandages, her left leg was wrapped in a thick plaster cast, the pins and bolts effectively holding the broken bones together could be easily seen, she had a bandage wrapped around her head from the surgery, her arms were practically pinned to her body with bandages, she had a large almost angry looking purple bruise surrounding her right eye and half of her right cheek, her left eye had a large cut just above the brow, her lip was cut and swollen, her hands, feet and face were all covered in different sized cuts from the broken window glass, she had tubes coming from her nose, her mouth, her chest, but she was alive or at least she was for the moment.

As he stood and watched her, the Perspex glass window between them, he couldn't think of anything else to talk about so kept repeating "Please keep fighting Lucy, I need you" over and over again hoping that she was going to move from her bed and tell him to shut up because she was trying to sleep, but she didn't so he kept talking to her, telling her how much he needed her, how much he loved her and how sorry he was.

A hand on his shoulder was the only thing that made him stop talking; turning his head he was met by the blue eyes of Caroline Adams

"Mr Leyland you need some sleep, you're not going to be able to help her if we have to admit you with exhaustion, you have been stood watching her for six hours, have you even eaten today?" she asked when she saw his obviously tired distressed eyes

"I don't want to leave her what if something happens and I'm not here"

"If I go and check on her and everything is fine will you at least consider going for something to eat and a short nap you can use the relatives room at the end of the corridor"

"If everything is fine and she is fine I will go eat and take a short nap, but if she's not fine I'm not moving"

"Ok" she replied softly before entering the ITU, a few minutes of checking on Lucy she exited the room "Mr Leyland she is fine, her blood pressure has eased, her pulse is strong, the pressure in her brain is beginning to ease, she is fighting hard, now as a doctor I am ordering you to go and eat and take at least a three hour nap"

"Ok I'll go but if anything happens to her..."

"I promise you will be the first to know" she reassured him, "Now go" she said in a more stern voice

"Thank you and please call me Myles"

"Ok Myles, now go, she is going to need you strong and healthy when she wakes up"

Myles nodded and made his way back towards the elevator to go to the ground floor, a short thirty second walk later he found himself in the practically deserted canteen where he was surprised to see closest friend sat drinking, what was obvious due to the empty cups arounds him, his fifth cup of coffee

"What are you doing here Bobby?" Myles asked as he sat opposite him with his own cup of coffee and a chicken salad sandwich

"Do you honestly think I would go home and leave you here alone? I needed to be close just encase..."

"I guess not and thanks"

"No worries mate, how she doing?"

"She's in an enforced coma but she's still alive, or at least she is for now"

"She's a fighter mate, she'll get through this and she'll be back at the office yelling at us all for our late reports before we know it"

"I really hope so" Myles added softly. "Have you heard anymore about the accident? About what happened? Why she crashed?"

Bobby looked at him he knew he had to know what happened but he also had to leave out important things regarding the fact that Lucy had received a phone call and who it was from just seconds before she crashed, Myles didn't need to know that it was his phone call, he would only blame himself, he was having enough trouble dealing with this without guilt being added to it so he simply said,

"Jack and Sue are with Metro at the moment. All we know is that the driver of the grey van had carried out an attempted robbery at Eddie's, you know the electronic place on Monument street that sells all the latest high tech gadgets, anyway a Metro car was parked around the corner on Lincoln Ave when he heard the alarms go off, so he chased the guy when he tried to escape, they rounded the corner on K street at high speed when Lucy went into the side of him, the sudden impact caused the transport lorry behind them to go into the back of her. That's all we know right now mate, Ted Cooper is going to keep us all informed, either he'll come talk to you or tell us and we'll tell you"

"Oh ok" Myles added though he had this gut feeling that Bobby was keeping something from him

A few moments of silence later Myles had tried to say what was on his mind but the words wouldn't come out, he actually tried a few times and failed

"What is it mate?" Bobby asked after a few more minutes of watching Myles try and talk

"It's nothing" Myles added not wanting to admit what he was feeling

"Myles"

"It's just why couldn't I have told her?"

"Told her what mate?" Bobby asked concerned, even though he knew the answer, he also knew Myles needed to talk about this

"That I love her, that I don't want to be without her anymore, that she means the world to me"

"You'll get a chance to tell her mate, she'll get through this, everything worked out between Jack and Sue look at the amount of times they nearly lost each other and now their together. It will work out for you two mate"

"Not if she doesn't make it" Myles added sadly

"She'll make it Myles; you just need a little faith and remember her golden rule, never give up"

"You're right and thanks for this Bobby I needed the distraction"

"Anytime mate, now go and see how that Shelia of yours is doing and I'll see you tomorrow. I'll pick some personal stuff up for you and fetch them here"

"Thanks Bobby" Myles added before standing up, he was about to leave for the elevator when he turned and hugged his close friend "Thanks again mate" He added softly

"She'll make it Myles" Bobby added again to reassure his friend as they walked towards the elevator

"Can you do one more thing for me?" Myles asked before he entered

"Anything mate"

"Go and talk to Tara, don't leave it too late because you may never get another chance and don't even try to deny your feelings for her, you two are just as bad as Jack and Sue were, I cannot take another three years of that I love him/her but does she/he love me game everyone in the office insists on playing"

Booby took a deep breath, even though Myles was going through hell at the moment he still managed to shut him up with one sentence, smiling he replied "You're right mate, I only really realised it earlier when we were driving here, I do love her, so I'll go and talk to Tara"

"Great I really hope everything works out between you two" Myles added trying to force a smile

"Hey Myles" Bobby said placing his arm on his friends shoulder "She'll make it mate and you'll get the chance to tell her, before long we'll all be one big happily married team of FBI agents"

"I really hope so" Myles added softly before entering the elevator

Bobby stood and watched his friend enter the elevator, he could see how the thought of loosing Lucy was effecting him and that he was right he needed to talk to Tara so after whispering "Just fight Lucy, you really have to make it, he needs you to make it" he walked out of the hospital but instead of going home he headed towards the apartment of the woman who had been his constant thought the last few months.

**Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter why don't you review and tell me - by the way I have deleted the note just encase you were wondering why the chapters seem to have shrunk xxx**

**PLease review xxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok I have absolutely no clue where this chapter came from but I thought I'd add it in anyway - its a Lucy chapter - they always say that people get stuck in a world when their dying and are faced with a choice of either leaving or coming back - well this is Lucy's - hope you enjoy it.**

The cool ocean breeze felt pleasant on her dark skin as the sun beat down on her. She didn't know why she was here or even where she was all she knew was that she felt more relaxed and at peace than she had in a few days.

As she continued her walk the waves cooled her aching feet, the slight tickle of the waves and sand in her toes making her laugh, she really loved it here. Looking off in the distance she spotted a figure walking towards, a figure she could barely make out but still somehow managed to recognise it was her dad

"Daddy" she shouted as she run towards him jumping into his arms just as she did when she was a little girl

"Lucy, baby what are you doing here?" He asked gently

"I came to see you daddy" she replied hugging him closer

"But how princess what happened?"

"I don't know daddy, I was driving along with Grams and Mom, my phone kept ringing I don't answer it, then there was a car, some loud bangs and the next thing I remember I woke up here lying on the sand, so where am I?"

"Come and walk with me sweetheart I need to show you something" her father replied holding out her hand

"So baby how's Myles?"

"How do you know about him daddy?"

"I'm your dad that's why, I've been keeping a close eye on you, on all of you, I need to make sure my girls are safe, so about this Myles fellow"

"What about him daddy? He's a jerk that's all you need to know"

"That maybe so sweetheart but you still love him don't you?"

"What no" Lucy added

"Lucy Ann Dotson, do not lie to your father, just remember I know you better than anyone now come on tell your old dad the truth"

"I used to love him daddy but not anymore" she answered hoping she at least sounded convincing

"Lucy!" her father added in a more serious tone, "I can see what in that heart of yours mind, I can tell you still love him"

Lucy stood and in that moment everything made much more sense, everything was clear and her father was right she did love Myles, she was still in love with him, in fact she doubted whether she had even stopped "You're right dad, I do love him, I am still in love with Myles, but it doesn't matter he doesn't feel the same way about me"

"How could he not love my baby girl, come on over here a bit more" he replied gesturing to Lucy to sit on the edge of step over looking a water pool "Just look" he said

AS Lucy sat on the edge an image appeared in front of her, an image of Myles, he was stood looking through a window asking whatever it was on the other side to keep fighting and not give up, he was practically crying and pleading.

"Who is he talking to daddy?"

"Take a look baby" he said

Lucy continued to watch as the picture changed she couldn't believe what she could see it was herself, herself lying in a hospital bed, herself giving up and dying, it was her he was pleading to

"Where am I daddy?" she asked softly

"You're in a place where you have a choice baby. I was sent here to help you make that choice, you can either come with me to the place I now belong, where Grams and Mom are and eat my pastrami eggs or you fight back, be with Myles and live the life you were supposed to leave. It's up to you baby, if you decide to leave I'll see you again in a few minutes but if you decide to stay I will continue to watch over you and help in any way I can, just remember that whatever decision you make Grams, Mom and I will always love you"

"I love you all too daddy, but how do I fight back?"

"You'll find a way baby" her father answered before he disappeared from view

Lucy sat on the edge of the pool thinking. If she stayed she and Myles could have a wonderful life together, but if she left she would be with her family. As the pool water danced quietly under the gentle breeze she was sure she could hear Myles whisper "I love you Lucy, please don't leave me" and she knew she had to fight back, she loved him to, she wasn't ready to leave just yet and was determined to get back and tell him so

Standing she walked back towards the part of the beach where she woke up, jumping suddenly when the waves hit her, they no longer felt calm and peaceful it was more like she was being hit time and time again.

The walk back seemed longer than it had previously and she felt herself getting weaker and weaker, she was struggling to breath and even move, but she had to move she was so close, she could see the imprint of her figure in the sand. Closing her eyes she pictured Myles she needed his strength but he was at her funeral struggling to breath, there were paramedics surrounding him, shocking him, he was dying, her dying was killing him, "Its a heart-attack, his heart valve is torn" she heard the paramedic say

Followed by a female's voice "time of death..."

"No, hang on Myles please" she screamed out and with one huge struggle she collapsed into her own imprint in the sand. Almost immediately she felt relaxed, she felt energised and as her eyes closed the last thing she heard was a females voice say

"Dr Caroline she's back; Miss Dotson is somehow still alive."

**PLease review xxx **


	7. Chapter 7

**Here you go next chapter x still not 100% sure about this one but I'll carryon if you want xx Just review and let me know if you think I should **

Myles stepped out of the elevator, the fatigue starting to hit him, despite what the voices were telling him he was actually starting to feeling tired. Walking towards the window he looked at his angel still lying in the bed, still seemingly asleep but fighting hard. Satisfied that she was indeed doing well Myles headed towards the relative's room in the hope of dealing with the fatigue he was now starting to feel.

Walking in to the small room he found a large black leather couch, sitting down he soon found his eyes getting heavy and it wasn't long before he drifted into the sleep his body desperately craved.

"Myles, Myles" he heard a voice calling his name

Turning his head from the pillow he was met by the dark eyes of the woman he loved

"Lucy? What the? What are you doing here? Do the doctors know you're out of bed?"

"I'm fine Myles, come on we need to get going?"

"Get going, the only place you are going missy is back to bed"

"What are you on about Myles it's our wedding day, come one we need to get going, everyone is waiting. But I promise you we can go back to bed later"

Myles looked down at his clothes, the ruffled shirt and tie he had been previously wearing had been replaced with a crisp black suit, deep blue tie, gold cufflinks and polished shoes but still nothing was making sense, Lucy was practically dying the last time he saw her and now she was standing in front of him wearing a crisp white dress, white shoes and a long white veil, had it really all just been a nightmare, could it be possible.

Standing he made his way in to the white and deep blue decorated garden, Jack, Bobby and D all stood in front of him, Sue, Tara and his Sister Anne the other side all wearing deep blue dresses that matched his tie. Lucy held out her hand for him which he took placing a hand on her cheek he knew she was real the knowledge made more so when she turned her head to kiss his palm.

"You ready honey" she asked

"I am" he replied, just as the words to their song echoed around him from the speakers strategically located around the fairy lit trees as together hand in hand they walked towards Charlie, who thanks to the magic of the internet would be conducting the ceremony

_**Whenever I see your face the world disappears,  
all in a single glance so revealing.  
You smile and I feel as though I've know you for years.  
How do I know to trust what I'm feeling?**_

I believe my heart,  
what else can I do?  
When every part of every thought leads me straight to you.  
I believe my heart.  
There's no other choice,  
for now whenever my heart speaks, I can only hear your voice

the life-time before we met has faded away.  
How did I live a moment without you?  
You don't have to speak at all; I know what you'd say.  
And I know every secret about you.

I believe my heart.  
It believes in you.  
It's telling me that what I see is completely true.  
I believe my heart.  
How can it be wrong?  
It says that what I feel for you I will feel my whole life long.

I believe my heart.  
It believes in you.  
It's telling me that what I see is completely true.  
And with all my soul  
I believe my heart.  
The portrait that it paints of you is a perfect work of art.

Thirty minutes later the ceremony was over and Myles and Lucy was officially a married couple. The reception was held in a small deep blue and white marquee just behind the fairy lit trees. Jack, Bobby and Sue all gave the speeches resulting in tears in the eyes of the wedding guests, even more apparent as the couple danced their first dance to their wedding song

"I love you Lucy"

"I love you too Myles, thank you for marrying me"

"I'm the one who should be thankful, my life never meant anything until the day you walked into it and I promise I am going to love you and care for you until the day I breathe my last my last breath"

And there in the middle of the dance floor the couple sealed their love with a deep kiss before fleeing the wedding reception and sitting in a limo where she placed her head on his shoulder as he placed his head on hers and together the couple closed their eyes for a few moments, just enjoying their love.

"Myles, Myles" he heard someone calling his name again, looking up expecting to see Lucy's face he was disappointed when he saw the face of her best friend, Sue

Sitting up he couldn't believe it had all been a dream, a magical wonderful dream and that Lucy was indeed lying in a hospital bed fighting for her life and not his wife

"Sue, hi, what time is it?"

"A little after 9am; here I bought you some coffee and a muffin"

Myles looked at his watch and he realised she was right and he had slept for approximately eight hours

'So much for a quick nap' "How is she?" he asked looking at an obviously worn out Sue

"I don't know I haven't seen her yet, I ran into Dr Adams and she said you were sleeping so I figured you would want a coffee and something to eat"

"Thank you, how are you doing? You look exhausted. I hope that team leader of ours is taking care of you, you need to take it easy my little godchild needs to be looked after"

Sue rubbed her tummy, "I'm ok,, we'ew both ok a little tired I was awake half the night and yes Jack is taking care of me"

"He better be or he'll have me to answer too"

"I'll let him know later, right now he's still asleep so I left at home"

"Well then Miss Thomas shall we go and see how our girl is doing?"

"Sure"

Standing the pair headed back towards the ITU window, as they approached Myles had this over-whelming feeling that something was not quite right, his fears becoming more apparent when they approached the window and saw her now empty bed.

**The song is I BELIEVE MY HEART _ Sung by DUNCAN JAMES AND KEEDIE _ I DON'T KNOW WHO WROTE IT_ I DONT OWN IT **

**PLEASE REVIEW XX **


	8. Chapter 8

**So you want to know where our Miss Dotson has suddenly disappeared too then read on and find out xx I'm starting to get into this one now - I'm still not 100% happy with it but I'm getting there**

Myles stood in front of the window staring at the empty bed, trying to figure out where Lucy had gone, Sue at the side of him in pretty much the same state

"Where is she Sue?" he asked after tapping her arm to gain her attention

"I really don't know, I knew I should have come here before coming to see you, maybe at least then we would know where she was and that she was ok, what if she isn't ok Myles" Sue said wiping tears from her face

"Hey this is not your fault" Myles replied placing a comforting arm around her shoulder, "Wait here I'll go and see if I can find someone who can give us some answers"

Myles left Sue at the ITU window and headed into the elevator to talk to someone, anyone who could help him find out what happened to Lucy, including every doctor and nurse that entered and exited the elevator. As the elevator came to a halt on the ground floor he found the small short woman the team had seen when Lucy was admitted yesterday

"Excuse me" Myles said approaching the woman

"Yes"

"My colleague Lucy Dotson was bought in yesterday following a car crash on K street, she was recovering in ITU after surgery but now she's gone do you know where?"

The woman, Tina, began typing at her computer "I'm sorry sir there is nothing in her notes, so either she was rushed in for emergency surgery or has been rushed for a scan. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about" she replied trying her best to calm the obviously distressed man in front of her "I'm sure if you go back to ITU I'm sure Miss Dotson will be back soon, if not one of the nurses will be able to help you"

"Thanks" Myles added feeling rather frustrated that he didn't really have any answers regarding the missing Lucy

Heading back towards the ITU, he saw Sue stood against the window being comforted by her loving husband and couldn't help but wish he had Lucy to comfort him

"Any news" Jack asked when he saw him approach

"Nothing the woman at the admissions desk didn't know anything, all she knows is what is in her records"

"So where is she" Sue asked worriedly

"I really don't know" Myles replied sinking into his chair, followed by Jack and Sue moments later, all three sat in silence as they waited for news of their missing colleague

They had been sat an hour when a hospital gurney was wheeled past them all three feeling a sense of relief when they saw who the patient in the bed was, the gurney was followed by an obviously physically exhausted Caroline Adams

"Caroline" Myles called

"Myles, she's fine, just give me a few moments to settle her back in and I'll come and talk to all of you"

Myles didn't like being kept in the dark about what had happened to Lucy, but he knew Caroline's duty of care was to, Lucy, her patient and not him so he sat back in his chair and tried to ignore the voices swirling around his head.

Once Caroline had ensured Lucy was settle and recovering well she approached the three friends patiently waiting outside the door. Taking a chair and placing it in front of the trio, so Sue could read her lips, she began explaining what had happened

"I know you are all worried about what happened to Miss Dotson this morning. Well I'll explain everything. Miss Dotson was rushed to theatre about 8am as she was bleeding heavily; when we took her into theatre we discovered she had ruptured her womb wall, it could have happened in the accident or it could be because of an existing problem, I am waiting for her doctor to send her records, in order to learn more. We tried to repair the rupture but were unsuccessful; the only way to save Miss Dotson's life was to perform a hysterectomy."

"A hysterectomy, doesn't that mean Lucy will never have her own children?" Sue stated placing a gentle hand on her own swollen tummy

"I'm afraid it does" Caroline added "But it really was the only option, the gynaecologists would have only carried out this procedure if it was the last option"

"How is she now?" Jack asked still in shock over what Lucy had to go through

"She's is doing a lot better, the pressure in her brain is easing all the time, her blood pressure and pulse are both stable, we are still really worried about the spinal cord damage, but until she wakes up we cannot determine the level of damage, she is really fighting hard there is obviously something or that be someone she needs to see," she replied smiling at Myles

Is she still in a coma?" Myles asked sadly

"No Myles, because the pressure on her brain is easing we have taken her out of the enforced coma, so hopefully she should wake up in a few hours or at least by tomorrow morning"

"Why wasn't I told?" Myles asked somewhat angry "You promised that if anything happened to her you would come and get me, but I was left in the dark, why?"

"Myles, please I had no choice I had to get Lucy to theatre, I know what I said but in this case saving my patient was more important than letting you know" She replied calmly hoping it would have the same effect on Myles

"Can we see her?" Sue butted in, she could see the look in Myles's eyes that gave the indication a blow-out towards Caroline was coming

"In about an hour but only one at a time, the nursing staff needs to get her settled and check her recovery and condition but when they are done I'll ask someone to come out and let you in. In the meantime I suggest maybe some coffee, food or fresh air"

"I AM NOT MOVING!" Myles practically yelled towards Jack, Sue and the doctor before either one of them even attempted to talk to him.

"Myles..." Jack started

"Don't even attempt it Jack, I'm not moving. If you want to bring me coffee or something to eat I'll take them, but I'm not leaving this room until Lucy herself tells me too"

"Myles you can't stay here, you're already drained and exhausted. You need space, air and sleep" Sue pointed out

"There is a window over there and I'll sleep on the chair" he added his frustrations at being nagged and set on getting to him

"Well ok, but at least give us your key so we can go and get you some food and a change of clothes from your place." Sue said

"Fine, here" Myles said practically throwing the keys at Jack

"We'll see you later then, are you sure you'll be ok?" Jack replied knowing full well that when Myles was in this mood there was no budging him

"I'm fine, I want you to just leave me for a bit, I need time alone with her" he replied somewhat relieved that they were giving him space

"I'm really sorry Myles" Caroline said gently as Jack and Sue made their way back towards the elevator and towards Myles's apartment to get him some food and a change of clothes.

"Its fine I know you were just saving my angel, I'm sorry I yelled"

"Its ok, now if you'll excuse me I have other patients I need to see, hey why don't you talk to her some more" she replied before leaving.

Myles smiled and turned his gaze back towards the sleeping, bandaged angel lying in the bed in front of him and just like he had yesterday he began talking to her

"Hey Lucy, I don't know if you can hear me but I'm going to talk to you anyway. I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for lying to you all those years ago, I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday morning, I'm sorry for calling you, I'm sorry that because of me you are never going to able to have your own children, I'm sorry that you may never walk again, I'm sorry for all the years we wasted fighting when all I wanted to do was hold on to you, I'm sorry for all the times I made you worry and I'm sorry for leaving it so long to tell you how much I love you because I do Lucy, I love you I've always loved you so you have to keep fighting this and I promise that from now on I am going to tell you how much I love everyday and no matter what happens Lucy I'll be at your side helping you through this, so just keep fighting"

Myles stood repeating this speech over and over again for the next hour, he only stopped when a nurse placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and informed him he could go in and sit with her once he put on the protective clothing. Slipping the green gown over his suit and white foot coverings over his shoes he slowly made his way to his sleeping angel. Standing at the foot of her bed her injuries and the events of the last twenty four hours hit him and hit him hard. There was still this small part of him that had hoped he was dreaming, but seeing her close up and without the glass window of the ITU, the bruises and cuts looking a lot worse, the bandages covering her body, the pins in her legs, the constant beeping of the machines, he knew it was all real and that he truly had nearly lost her.

"Sir" a small voice bought him back from his thoughts "Sir are you alright, you can sit and hold her hand if you want to, but only her hand we must keep contact to a minimum"

"Sorry, yes I'm fine and thank you" Myles smiled

He took a deep breath and walked over to the white plastic hospital chair and sat down, he reached for her hand but stopped himself, what if he caused her an infection, what if he hurt her, what if she died because of a bacteria on his skin

"It's ok to touch her" The small voice repeated

"I don't want to hurt her or cause any damage" Myles replied in a small voice, the wave of emotions circling his throat

"She's fine, honestly you can hold her hand just don't kiss it or kiss her, the hands are cleaner than your mouth, but if it makes you feel more relaxed, use some of this it will kill off any infections" the nurse added holding out a small bottle of hand sanitizer.

Myles took a small blob in his hands and rubbed it in, the small action making him feel more at ease about touching her. Sitting forwards in the chair he took hold of her small hand and as he looked down he instantly felt relaxed, it was as if their hands were made to fit together, tracing small circles on her palm with his hands he began retelling the same speech over and over again in a hope that this time she would tell him to shut up.

A few hours later thanks to Jack and Sue, a newly shaven, washed, fed, coffee drunk, and clothes change Myles was to be seen by his colleagues sleeping in the chair, still holding Lucy's hand, his head resting on his hand and a small smile gracing his lips as once again his dreams was filled by their wedding day.

**PLease review xx and like I said just because Lucy survived the accident it doesn't mean everything is going to be ok - her and Myles have a long way to go yet x **


	9. Chapter 9

****

**Thank you everyone for your reviews they hlways mean a lot to me but with this one they mean more especially as its not my fav and I was considering scrapping it at one point xx Enough of me rambling on with the story x **

* * *

Myles woke the following morning feeling more rested than he had in a long time; turning his gaze towards the face of Lucy he knew she was the reason. Even though his position had moved slightly during the night their hands were still joined together it was as if neither one of them wanted to let go, like they were almost afraid to let go.

"Good morning Angel" he whispered slightly "How are you? Come on Luce it's time to wake up?" he continued hoping that she would listen to him and open her eyes but she didn't, she just lay there no movement, no talking, no nagging, no yelling, nothing the room was silent apart from the hissing and beeping of the machines she was connected to.

Myles sighed, he knew her being unconscious was better for her at the moment while she recovered but he craved her smile, her eyes and her smile; it was only then would he believe she truly was alive. He sat there again as he had in the last few hours talking to her, he told her about what the weather was like, read a chapter from her favourite book which, thanks to Sue, he now had in the room with him, he talked about how Bobby and Tara were now officially a couple thanks to one if not both of them finally confessing their feelings for each other; he basically filled the next few hours with whatever he could think of.

His conversation with her was interrupted after two hours by Caroline Adams entering the room

"Good afternoon Myles" she said as she entered

"Good afternoon Caroline, how is she?"

"She's doing good Myles" she replied after checking her patient "I am slightly concerned that she hasn't woken up yet but each patient is different, some take hours to wake up some take days, if she hasn't woken up by tomorrow afternoon I'll run some more tests. You on the other hand look exhausted. Why don't you take some time away, go home and have a proper shower, a proper meal and a change of clothes, believe you me the breakaway will do you good and besides there is someone else out in that waiting room who I'm sure would like to spend some time with the patient" she replied gesturing to the ITU window where Sue was stood looking at her friend lying in the bed

Myles smiled at Sue, who returned it slightly but the sadness was still on her face, as he saw that look he knew he had been incredibly selfish in the last few hours. Since the team were allowed to sit with her, he had kept her all to himself, none of his colleagues had, had the chance to sit with her and he knew it was time he shared her no matter how hard it was going to be

"You're right Caroline"

"I am" she replied somewhat shocked, she had prepared herself for a fight to get Myles out of the room

"Yes" Myles laughed for the first time in three days "You are"

And with that he stood up, his stiff muscles popping slightly as they got used to being used again and he realised Caroline was actually right a hot shower, some decent food and a change of clothes would do him good and so moved to exit the ITU room.

"Morning Sue" he greeted as he left Lucy's room

"Morning Myles how is she?"

"She's doing ok, still unconscious but Dr Adams isn't worried at the moment, go on in I'm going to go home for a few hours, go spend some time with her"

Sue hugged her friend she knew leaving her was hard, but she also knew he needed to get out for a few hours, as they parted she pulled on the protective clothing they had to wear and headed through the door of the ITU stopping before entering

"Myles" she called out in a small, sad voice, making him stop and turn back to her

"What's wrong?" Myles asked concerned

"What do I say to her? What should I do when I get in there?"

"Just hold her hand and talk to her or read some more of her book"

"Talk to her about what?" Sue asked, to be honest she was just as scared as Myles had been last night

"About anything you want, about how much Jack is fussing over you, about pregnancy cravings, the weather, what you watched on TV last night, what cases you're working on, anything you can think of"

"Oh ok and you're sure I can hold her hand, it want hurt her or make her sick"

"No Sue she'll be fine, but if it makes you feel better there is a small bottle of hand cleaner on the table by the bed, use a small drop and it will kill off any germs"

"Ok then if you're sure" she said somewhat relieved

"I'm sure, go on in and spend time with her, I'm sure she will love hearing a different voice talking to her"

"Thanks Myles" Sue replied before walking through the door, exiting again not ten seconds later

"Myles, can you do me one last favour"

"Sure what's up?"

"Can you tell Jack I'm going to sit with her for a bit he's sat in our car in the car-park, I told him I was only going to be five minutes, you know what he's like if I'm more than two minutes late the panic sets in"

Myles laughed for the second time that day and it felt good "Sure Sue no worries"

"**Thank you**" she signed back and turned back into the ITU

Myles stood at the window and watched Sue walk towards Lucy. He watched as she repeated the same routine he had the night before, stopping at the end of the bed, moving towards the chair and sitting in it a few moments later, attempting to reach out for her hand before stopping and using the hand sanitizer before finally grabbing her hand and talking to her. He couldn't help but smile as Sue looked up at him winking as she relaxed.

Myles entered the elevator and it dawned on him he had no car, his car was still parked in the FBI car-park how the bloody hell was he going to get home he would ask Jack, heading towards the car-park Jack's new SUV jeep was easy to spot and he made his way towards him

"Myles" Jack gasped in shock, he, like everyone else, thought it would take Lucy being discharged to get him to leave the hospital

"Hey Jack, I know what you're thinking so don't even say it. I just decided it was time someone else got the opportunity to sit with Lucy and as your lovely wife was in the ITU I thought why not take the chance and go home for a bit. So encase you were wondering and before the panic sets in Sue is spending some quality girlie time with her best friend"

"Oh, ok, thanks Myles, so since Sue is tied up for a while wanna grab some lunch?"

"Actually I was hoping for a lift to the office, I'm going go home for a bit change, shower, eat but my car is still parked in the office car-park"

"Sure, get in, just watch Levi"

Myles walked around to the passenger door and could help but laugh and wonder how a large golden retriever had managed to curl up on the floor in front of the passenger side seat

"That doesn't look very comfortable Levi buddy I must admit" Myles said as he opened the passenger door

"I know but for some reason if I stay in the car and Sue gets out he immediately moves there." Jack commented "Come on Buddy in the back" he ordered to Levi who with a grunt and a slight moan at Myles and Jack reluctantly moved from his spot on the floor to his other favourite spot behind on the seat behind Jack.

"So how's Lucy doing?" Jack asked after a few minutes of silent driving

"She's doing ok the doctor is concerned she has not woken up yet, but you know our Lucy she never was one to follow the crowd"

"That's true" Jack agreed

"Myles I know this is a hard question to answer but have your feelings towards Lucy changed now she can't have children?"

Myles sat for a few moments in silence, to be honest he hadn't really thought about him and Lucy not being able to have their own children; sure it would be nice if they could have their own family but heck there were plenty of children in the world who needed loving homes and he knew in that moment his feelings were still the same

"No Jack they haven't, I still love her, I'm still in love with her, sure our own children would be great but there are plenty of other children in the world who need parents and I think together Lucy and I will give them the loving home they desperately crave"

"That's good to know mate" Jack said tapping his arm as he pulled into the FBI garage

"Thanks for the lift Jack" Myles said as he exited the car

"No worries mate, are you sure you don't wanna grab some lunch?"

"No thanks I'm going to go home, I've seen enough of your face to last me the day, go see Sue, treasure the moments you can spend together because one day it might all come to a crashing end"

"Hey Myles she'll be fine, that girl is fighting hard and before you know it, she'll be with you as your wife"

"I really hope so Jack"

"I know so Myles, I'm team leader remember what I say goes" Jack added with a slight wink that caused Myles to laugh as Jack drove off and he headed towards his car

A ten minutes drive later Myles was walking the door of his home, dropping his keys and jacket on the table; he picked up the mail pile on the table and sort through it. Once that was done he placed the chicken casserole that his sister had left him in the oven and a grabbed a quick shower while it heated, fifteen minutes later he was showered, shaved and feeling more awake than he had all day. Sitting at the table he ate his food with gusto figuring he must have been hungrier than he first realised pushing the empty plate away he felt full of energy once more. He had contemplated taking a short nap in his bed but as he looked at a photograph on his fire place there was only one place he wanted to go and for the first time in the last few days it wasn't to the hospital to see Lucy, so grabbing his keys and jacket from the table he got back in his car, arriving at his destination twenty minutes later.

**The question of course now is WHERE AS MYLES GONE? anyone think they know xxx **

**PLease review xx **


	10. Chapter 10

****

**What's that I hear you want to know where Myles has gone well read on and find out **

**

* * *

**

Myles stood outside the small grey building wondering if this really was a good idea, did he even have the right to be there after all they weren't his family, but as his thoughts turned to Lucy he realised that she was his family and so were they. Taking a deep breath he walked into the same coroner's office he had not three days ago

"Jeff" Myles said as he approached the small man behind the desk

"Mr Leyland, good afternoon, how is Miss Dotson?" he replied shaking Myles by the hand

"She's doing ok, getting there slowly, she's got a long hard road ahead of her but I'm sure with the team's help she'll come out the other side"

"And yours I'm sure. So what can I do for you?" Jeff asked

"I was wondering if I could spend some time with Alice and Linda, I know Lucy would love to say her final goodbyes and tell them how she is doing but she can't do that at the moment so I thought I would"

"Of course Myles, I've finally finished the post-mortems and now they are in the funeral home next door waiting further instructions from the family"

"Jeff I know you probably can't tell me this but what happened to them? Did they suffer in anyway?"

"I can tell you Myles but only because of Miss Dotson, why don't you join me for a coffee and we'll have a chat"

"Thanks" Myles smiled before following Jeff, who picked up two files from the desk, outside and into the small cafe building on the next corner

As they entered the pair ordered two strong black coffees, once they had paid and collected their coffee Myles and Jeff made their way to one of the small round tables located outside.

"Myles before I tell you this, you do realise it is going to be hard to hear"

"I know but when Lucy finds out about her mother and grandmother she is going to have questions and I want to be able to answer them and reassure her, since it was her car she is going to blame herself and I want to try and prevent that, she's is going to have enough to deal with without adding guilt to the mix"

"Ok Myles, where shall I start?"

"Start with Alice; she and Lucy were extremely close she was more like her mother than grandmother"

Picking up the file containing the results of the post mortem on Alice he began explaining to Myles what injuries she had sustained in the accident

"Alice Dotson died approximately ten minutes after the initial impact. She sustained a brain bleed due to hard contact with the dashboard. She had numerous other injuries including broken collarbone, fractured ribs, punctured left lung, broken left wrist, torn muscles cartilage in her left knee and fractured hip. My initial findings is that it was the brain bleed that killed her, she had immense pressure in her brain which may have caused a fatal stroke"

Myles sat listening intently at the horrific injuries Lucy's grandmother had sustained in this crash, what made it worse was that she endured at least ten minutes of probably intense pain before she was taken from the earth

"And her mother?" he asked once he had is head straight

Closing the file on Alice he picked up that of Linda Dotson and again began explaining to Myles what had happened to her

"It is my findings that Linda Dotson was killed on impact, she was practically crushed to death, most of her chest, pelvis, back, legs and arm bones were broken in the accident along with severe trauma to major organs including lung, liver, stomach muscles and even her heart had received a crush injury due to the impact"

Myles couldn't get his head around this, someone must have really been looking after Lucy for her to survive the crash especially considering the injuries her mother and grandmother had received

"Are you ok Myles?" Jeff asked

"Yes, I've just realised how lucky Lucy was to survive this crash, I think someone must have really been looking out for her"

"I think you're right, she really was lucky. If you will excuse me I have to get back I have work to do this afternoon, but feel free to go into the funeral home and spend some time with Alice and Linda, talk to them about Lucy, I'm sure on some subconscious level they will hear you and would want to know how their little girl is doing"

"Yeah I'm sure you're right. I've spoken to Lucy enough times and I'm sure she's listening after all she's still fighting"

Myles watched as Jeff got up and headed back to his office to work. Once he had finished his coffee Myles entered the small funeral home. The building was nicer than he imagined it would be, well as nice as a place that held dead bodies could be. Walking into a small room he was created by a lady who according to her name tag was called Janice

"Hello can I help?" she asked in a rather husky, dry voice

"Hello my name is Myles Leyland I am a friend of Alice and Linda Dotson, I was wondering if I could spend some time with them both"

"Yes of course Mr Leyland, Jeff informed me you were coming, please follow me" she said as she led Myles through a blue door where Alice and Linda were lying in cheap looking dark cherry coffins

As Myles approached the bruised, pale, almost grey bodies of his friends his emotions took him over once more and he placed his hands over his face and mouth as he grieved. A few moments later he managed to control his emotions long enough to sit in the green plastic chair and talk to his two friends lying in front of him, finding this just as easy as he had talking to Lucy just a few hours ago

"Hello Alice, Linda, it's me, Myles. I know I'm probably the last person you expected to 'hear from' so to speak, but your little girl means a lot to me and you mean a lot to her so here I am. I know that you probably cannot hear me but I just wanted to apologise for everything that happened on Tuesday, Lucy probably told you I yelled at her when I came back to the office, but I regret that now, I never meant to yell at her, I was just angry over a suspect and she caught the brunt of my explosion. I'm sorry for the accident, I'm really sorry and I know it was my fault. If I hadn't had shouted at her maybe she wouldn't have been so angry that she crashed. I'm sorry that you two were the victims of all this, none of you deserved to die, it should have been me in that car, I should have died not you."

He stopped for a moment to try and control his emotions, he had spent the last few days blaming himself in his own mind but now he was admitting it out-loud so to speak

"I know you're both really worried about Lucy but I can assure you she is doing ok. She has undergone a number of surgeries since the accident including having pins inserted in her leg to heal her broken bones, repair to her spleen, surgery on her brain to help ease the pressure build up, but thankfully she is fighting hard. One or maybe both of you are obviously watching over her and giving her the strength to fight, so thank you, I'm not quite ready to lose her yet. I've finally realised what I've known all alone I'm in love with her and have been for a while. I can only see my life with her, even though we want be able to have our own children, you see Lucy had to have a hysterectomy yesterday morning, she had a tear in her womb which the doctors were unable to repair, but I don't care, she is still my angel and I'm going to ask her to marry me once she's over this so don't worry your little girl will be taking care of for the rest of her life. I Promise."

As he finished talking to the women in front of him Myles felt a lot better. It felt good to finally get everything he had been thinking off his chest, moving towards the coffin of Alice he placed a gentle kiss on her cold cheek

"Sleep tight Alice" he whispered, before moving over to the coffin of Linda and again after kissing her cheek he whispered

"Sleep tight Linda, don't worry about Lucy I'll take care of her, I'll love her enough for the three of us I promise" he said the emotions welling up in his throat once more

A few moments of crying later Myles felt composed enough to leave the room as he left he turned and whispered

"I promise I'll love her forever, just please give her the strength to keep fighting, don't let her leave me. I have so much I did need to say to her, we have so much we have to do"

As he left the small room he stopped to talk to Janice

"Janice the arrangements for the funerals I will be paying for everything. I'll get in touch once Lucy Dotson, that's Alice's granddaughter and Linda's daughter, is awake; she was in the accident with them and is currently still unconscious in DC medical"

"The situation has been explained to me by Jeff, so that's not a problem. As soon as Miss Dotson is awake and ready we can make the arrangements"

"Thank you" He replied before heading back to his car and more importantly back to Lucy

Myles had managed to get half way back to the hospital when his phone rung, after a short conversation he pressed harder on the gas pedal, he needed to get to the hospital and he needed to get there now!

* * *

**Ok cliffhanger and I'm sorry - but you know me I like to keep you guessing **

**Please review xx new update in the next two days x **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi guys sorry this chapter is really short I had planned on it being longer but I had dental surgery this morning and I'm in a lot of pain - so I just wrote this little chapter **

**

* * *

**

Myles had driven to the hospital at lightning speed, himself nearly crashing his car on several occasions; he was surprised he hadn't been stopped by Metro PD. After running through the main part of the hospital he stood patiently waiting for the elevator to arrive, watching the numbers on the dial slowly drop as the elevator passed each floor. By the time it had reached the ground floor he had contemplated using the stairs several times but figured it was probably best to using the time he had to get his emotions in check and his head around the phone conversation

"Myles its Jack where are you?"

"Hi Jack, I'm on my way back to the hospital why?"

"There has been a development with Lucy I really think you need to get back here now"

"Development what kind of development"

"Just get here Myles"

He hadn't replied to that he just hung up and raced to the hospital. The ping of the elevator snapped Myles back to reality and he calmly stepped into the elevator once the crowd of people had exited.

For the first time in the last few days Myles found he was alone in the elevator which was not a good idea as it left him alone with his thoughts.

'What was the development? Had she had another brain bleed? Was there a complication from her surgery? Had she developed an infection? Had the results of her scan showed long lasting damage? Was she not able to walk again? Did she have an underlying problem which caused the tear in her womb? Was she awake or was she...'

The ding of the elevator once again snapped Myles to reality which considering what he was thinking was not a bad thing. He slowly stepped out of the elevator and made the long walk back to the ITU room, which for some reason, a reason he would never know, he did slowly, very slowly by the time he reached the ITU it had been at least twenty minutes since Jack had called and the fact that Bobby had tears in eyes while holding a crying Tara, Sue was crying into Jack's embrace, D and Donna were comforting each other and Ted stood wiping his own tears scared him, scared the crap out of him actually and he automatically feared the worse.

"Myles" Ted said gently as he approached his team member

"What's happened Ted?" he said almost afraid to know the answer

"I think you need to sit down Myles" Ted said gesturing towards the chair

"Please Ted just tell me what's going on?"

"It's Lucy, she's..."

As Ted spoke Myles figured the worst and his head started to spin before he passed out.

* * *

**OOOOOO naughty Annie ;-) - cliffhanger DUN DUN DUN **

**PLEASE REWIEW, PRETTY PLEASE XXXX **

**IT WILL TAKE ME A FEW DAYS TO DO THE NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE OF THIS DENTAL SURGERY THREE EXTRACTIONS, STITCHES ITS NOT PRETTY :-( I'M ALL BRUISED AND SWOLLEN :-(**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you everyone for reviewing and for your wishes after my dental work - I love all of you and your support means a lot**

**this is the continuation of the last chapter **

* * *

Myles woke up not having a clue what was going on, he was in a strange bed, in a strange room and in a building he vaguely recognised turning his head towards the window he realised he was in a hospital room, but he was the patient and had no recollection as to why. Placing his head under the bed covers he looked for any signs of an injury but found nothing, tapping his head with his hand for a head injury but still nothing, he looked at his hands, still nothing. Moving the covers he checked his legs again but still there was nothing he was in perfect health so why the hell was he in a hospital bed. Closing his eyes he tried to figure out what had happened, he had gone to see Lucy's mother and grandmother, spent some time with them; then he had a phone call from Jack saying there was a development regarding Lucy so he drove at lightning speed towards the hospital

"Did I crash?" he asked himself out loud

"No Myles you didn't crash" replied the voice of his Australian co-worker who had just entered the room

"Then what the hell happened to me? Why am I in a hospital bed? Come on tell me since you seem to know all the answers"

"You fainted mate"

"I don't faint" Myles added in disbelief

"Oh I can assure you, you fainted I saw you myself. You asked Ted something about Lucy and before he could answer you, you were sparked out on the floor after fainting"

Myles realised Bobby was right, he had arrived safe at the hospital but when he saw his friends crying and comforting each other he couldn't take it and black out

"Bobby, I need to know is Lucy ok? Jack said something about a development"

"She's fine mate, she's awake, woke a few hours ago, breathing on her own and everything, doc says she's gonna be fine"

Myles breathed a sigh of relief, she was awake, so why was everyone crying if she was awake, and he realised they were not tears of sadness, they were tears of joy, the tears you have when you meet an old friend who you haven't seen in years, or when you see a family relative for the first time in years. His friends weren't comforting each other they were hugging in relief.

"I want to see her"

Bobby looked at him "The doc says you got to stay here for a bit, you hit your head on the chair, when she gives the all clear then we'll try"

"Try? What you mean try?" it was as Myles asked this question that Tara entered the room

"I need a coffee Tara, Myles want one?" Bobby said trying to avoid Myles' gaze and the question, he didn't want to be the one to tell Myles this, the team had decided that Tara was the best person for this job, she had a way of keeping Myles calm in tense situations always had, and this was going to be a tense, potentially angry situation

"I'll take a coffee thanks Hun?" Tara replied as he walked over to her, as he reached her he whispered

"Good luck Hun, I'll be outside if you need me" before kissing her cheek

"We'll be fine" she whispered back

Tara walked over to Myles' bed and gently sat on the end and took his hand

"Tara what the hell is going on? Why do we need to see if I can see Lucy?"

Tara took a deep breath, how the hell was she going to do this, bluntly? Gently? Softly? Calmly? She decided on honestly, after all honesty was the best policy

"I'm waiting" Myles butted into her thoughts

"Myles, we'll have to check with Lucy before we can let you in to see her"

"What? Why? I've been with her since she crashed what's different?"

Tara gripped both his hands tighter "Myles, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but she doesn't want to see you, she doesn't want you coming in to her room, she doesn't want to see your face through the window, she doesn't even want us to mention your name"

Myles choked back his emotions "Why?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper

"Myles there is something you need to know about the accident. Lucy was cancelling a call just before she crashed and she took her eyes off the road for a few seconds to look at her phone when she looked back at the road the van was in front of her before she had time to react. It is thought that the van was speeding but if Lucy had been paying attention she would have had enough time to react. Myles the phone call was from you, I'm really sorry Myles she is blaming you for the accident and killing her mother and grandmother she doesn't want to see you" Tara said her hand stoking his trying to keep him calm

Myles sat there for a few minutes, seemingly perfectly calm considering what Tara had just told him, however inside he understood why she didn't want to see him, he had been thinking it was his fault since it happened but now it was confirmed he had caused their death, no wonder Lucy hated him, he hated himself, but still he had to try, he needed to talk to her

Snapping his hands from Tara's grip, he got out of the bed

"Myles what are you doing" she asked as he stood at put on his shoes

"I'm going to see Lucy" he replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world but yet also had the inclination that he hadn't listened to a word Tara had just said

"Myles she doesn't want to see you"

"I don't care"

"Myles please stop, you're not going to help her or yourself if you go in there all guns blazing, take some time, give her some time and maybe tomorrow she'll agree to see you"

"NO!" he said his voice practically in a yell causing Bobby who was outside the door to come in

"Bobby don't even attempt it, GET OUT OF MY WAY!" he screamed in his Australian Co-workers face who was stood blocking his way out

"No" he yelled back "Myles she doesn't want to see you especially when you're like this just take some time and calm down"

"Bobby if you don't move I will move you"

"Myles..." Bobby trailed off as Myles grabbed his arm and with strength he never knew he had pulled Bobby from the door frame nearly knocking Tara over in the process before storming out of the door and towards the ITU

"Myles STOP!" Tara yelled after him as she chased him down the corridor

"NO TARA, I NEED TO SEE HER TO EXPLAIN I'M SORRY" he yelled back

Myles was outside the ITU room where Lucy was currently asleep and looked at her, he couldn't let her hate him, he needed to speak to her to explain he was sorry, pulling on the protective clothing he walked in, ignoring the calls of Tara and Bobby behind him. As he walked in the calls of his co-workers woke the sleeping Lucy, looking up her soft features turned to anger the second she laid eyes on Myles' face

"Get out" she said in the angriest way her voice would allow

"NO"

"Leave Myles, this, this is all your fault, you killed them, if you hadn't have called I would have seen the van and I would be with my grandmother and mother right now not getting ready to plan their funerals, now get out"

"No Lucy please let me explain"

"I don't want to hear it Myles, I'm sick of your lies and explanations, Bobby get him out of here I don't want to see him"

"Lucy please, I love you" he begged "Let me explain"

"More lies, thanks Myles just what I need, now get out" she practically yelled

Bobby took his friend by the shoulder and was leading him out of the door while Tara tried to calm the distressed Lucy. They were just at the door when Myles knew he had to try one more thing to convince her he wasn't lying he did love her, turning he walked over to the bed and placed a gentle but passion filled kiss on Lucy lips

"Please believe me Luce I'm sorry and I love you" he said when he got up, before turning around and walking out of the room, trying to fight back the tears threatening to fall, only letting them escape when he was in the confines of his own car.

* * *

**How much more can poor Myles take! **

**Please review **


	13. Chapter 13

**I realised I hadn't put in the disclaimer so better late than never - I only own those you don't recognise - the other are owned by PAX**

**One other thing I didn't mention is that in this fic Jack and Sue are married and Sue is pregnant - it doesn't really relate to the story but it does explain things between them - **

**This chapter is mainly a flashback from Lucy which is why there is a repete at the end from the last chapter - **

**It may take me a few days between posts I'm am so stretched at the moment, uni, work, 2 kids, wifely duties I am bringing multi tasking to a whole new level at the mo **

* * *

Lucy sat up slightly, thanks to her doctor, in her hospital bed thinking, she finally had chance to come to terms with everything that she had been told by the doctor and her friends. She had woken up a little over twelve hours ago and was greeted by the face of her doctor Caroline Adams and now she had the chance to really think about what she had learned over the last few hours.

"Miss Dotson, I'm Caroline Adams, your doctor, can you remember anything?"

"I remember being in the car and then there was a van, the next thing I know I'm waking up here"

"Ok I see" She replied in a soft gentle tone and took a seat in the chair by the side of Lucy's bed "Lucy you were involved in car accident, a bad car accident, when you arrived in the ER you were unconscious and have been until now. I took you straight into surgery where I operated on you,I have pinned the bones in your leg and ankle which will help the bone breaks heal, you had damage to your spleen which I have managed to repair for now, but it may have to be removed in the future we need to keep an eye on it. I removed a piece of glass which had punctured your lung which will explain the problems you are having breathing. You had intensive pressure on your brain but a colleague of mine operated and we have managed to ease that."

"My brain is that going to lead to any problems in the future; I heard that can cause strokes"

"You will be more high risk than other people but with medication we should be able to delay any problems. Lucy there are some other things we need discuss" she replied placing a gentle arm on Lucy

"What?" she asked slowly

"A few days ago you developed very heavy bleeding and we had to rush you back into theatre, Lucy a gynaecologist colleague of mine operated and discovered a tear in your womb, Lucy I am very sorry to have to tell you but she had to perform a hysterectomy in order to save your life."

"A hysterectomy" Lucy gasped in shock "does that mean I want be able to have children?" she asked as the tears fell

"I'm sorry Lucy, but I'm afraid it does. Lucy I have to ask but did you have any underlying problems that could have caused the tear, a form of female cancer for example, we have been having problems obtaining your medical history but, don't worry, if you haven't the tear could have just as easily occurred in the accident"

"No well nothing that I know of anyway"

"That's fine now you are awake I'll run some tests to double check. Now there is one more thing that we need to discuss. It is a little more serious than your other injuries. You have damage to your nervous system in particular her spinal cord which may have caused spinal paralysis. I have to conduct a number of tests in order to determine the amount of damaged you have sustained. I'll carry out the tests in the next few hours once I make sure you are recovering well and your breathing is more controlled."

"Ok" Lucy replied not really able to say much else, she had so many things to get her head around right now, she couldn't have children, she may not be able to walk, the accident, she couldn't really remember anything about the accident only that she wasn't alone

"Caroline, I wasn't alone in the accident, who was with me? I can't remember" She said sadly

"I'll leave that to your colleagues, I know there are some things they need to discuss with you. Sue and Jack Hudson are outside waiting to talk to you. I'll do run some tests and send them in" the doctor replied, she decided that the death of her family would be better coming from those who loved her and not a stranger in a hospital room.

The doctor run some test on Lucy, checked her breathing, took some blood and left the room indicating for Jack and Sue to enter and talk to her

"How is she?" Sue asked before entering

"She's in shock and trying to process all the information I have just told her about her condition. She doesn't know anything about the accident or what happened to her family" Caroline answered

"Good, I'd rather tell her myself" Sue answered, before following Jack into the room where her best friend lay, her tears staining her face

"Hi Lucy" Sue said kissing her cheek "How are you feeling?"

"A little sore, scared about what the test are going to reveal and trying to remember what happened" she answered sadly

"Well being sore is understandable, the tests are going to come back fine and you are going to be fine. If you're not then Jack and I will be with you all the way, as will the rest of the team" Sue answered causing a nod from Jack "As for the accident I can tell you what happened or at least what we know from Metro" Sue replied placing a hand on hers and the other on Jack leg, the three of them were going to need each other's strength to do this

"Then please tell me Sue, I need to know what happened, how all this happened"

"We'll tell you all we know" Jack reassured "But you do need to prepare yourself Luce, there are some details and events that will be hard to hear" he continued placing one hand on hers, just above Sue's and his other on top of Sue's hand that was on his leg

"You ready?" Sue asked, earning a small nod from Lucy "ok, what do you remember about the day of the accident?" she asked softly

"Not much, I remember being sat in the office doing paperwork, Randy and I had argued all morning over something, Myles came in and we argued over something I can't remember what, I remember I was going for Lunch with someone, maybe I was on my way to pick them up I don't really know. I remember a van. I remember seeing someone's face. Oh my GOD Sue, Jack who was in the car?" she asked fighting back the scared feeling welling inside her as she got agitated

"It's ok Luce calm down" Sue said "Shhh calm down Luce" she continued stroking her hand

"Please I need to know, who was in the car?"

"Luce, you are right there was someone in the car, there were two people, your grandmother was with you she had come to the bullpen to take you to lunch and also your mother was with you. I guess you picked her up on the way" Sue answered gently

"Are they ok?" she asked the tears forming once again

Sue and Jack looked at each and Jack nodded as if to agree with Sue that she should be the one to tell her

"Luce, honey I really don't know how to put this" Sue spoke gently trying to stem her own emotions "Luce, I'm really sorry but the accident was bad, you were lucky to survive it, I'm sorry Lucy but your grandmother and your mother both died in the accident. I'm sorry Luce" She continued as she moved to hold the woman who she considered her sister as she broke down in tears clinging to Sue, while Jack moved to hold both his wife and the woman he came to think of as his sister-in-law as the two of them grieved.

A few moments passed and Lucy had managed to control her tears long enough to ask "What happened? How did this all happen? How did one accident kill my family?"

Jack looked at her, "This is what we know from Metro Luce, I don't know how accurate the details are"

"Ok, but I don't care I need an explanation for all this. Please Jack just tell me"

"You left for lunch with your grandmother and I guess picked up your mom somewhere. A driver of a grey van had carried out an attempted robbery at Eddie's, the electronic place on Monument street, anyway a Metro car was parked around the corner on Lincoln Ave when he heard the alarms go off, so he chased the guy when he tried to escape, they rounded the corner on K street at high speed you went into the side of him, the sudden impact caused the transport lorry behind to go into the back of you. That's all we know Luce."

"Did grams or mom suffer? Were they in pain?"

"Your mom was killed outright Luce but your Grams did suffer a brain bleed which caused a stroke, she died about five maybe ten minutes after the accident" Jack continued

"No" Lucy sobbed as she placed her hand on mouth "Poor Grams, poor Mom how am I going to cope alone and without them?" she cried as Sue moved once again to hug her

"It's ok Luce, we're here and we're not going to let you do this alone. Jack and I will be with you all the time."

As Lucy sobbed she remembered something "The phone"

"What phone?" Jack questioned

"My phone, my phone was ringing it was Myles... this is all his fault...we argued and I was angry and upset while driving...he was calling me and I took my eyes off the road for a few seconds to cancel and turn off my phone... this is all his fault" she said her voice getting angrier "Where is he? Is he here?" she demanded

"No Luce he's not here. He is currently being treated by a doctor he passed out a little while ago. He has been with you ever since it happened. He hasn't left your side Luce"

"Good, I don't want him here and I don't want him anywhere near me. I don't want to see him or speak to him Jack, tell him to stay away"

"Lucy" Jack said sadly yet softly

"No Jack I mean it I don't want him here this is all is fault if he hadn't called I wouldn't have got distracted and my mother and grandmother would be alive. I don't want to see him I mean it" she said her voice more determined

"Ok, I don't want to agree to it but I will, but please reconsider Luce" Jack pleaded

"Thank you, now if you will excuse me I really need some sleep" she replied turning over avoiding their gaze, while Jack and Sue slowly moved out of the room

Lucy slept for a few hours before she heard the raised voices of her friends outside, opening her eyes she saw the face of the man who had filled her dreams, who she wanted to see but who she also knew deserved better, deserved someone who could give him a family so as much as it hurt her she had to push him away it was for the best

"Get out" she said in the angriest way her voice would allow

"NO"

"Leave Myles, this, this is all your fault, you killed them, if you hadn't have called I would have seen the van and I would be with my grandmother and mother right now not getting ready to plan their funerals, now get out"

"No Lucy please let me explain"

"I don't want to hear it Myles, I'm sick of your lies and explanations, Bobby get him out of here I don't want to see him"

"Lucy please, I love you" he begged "Let me explain"

"More lies, thanks Myles just what I need, now get out" she practically yelled

She watched as Bobby took his friend by the shoulder and was leading him out of the door while Tara tried to calm her but before she knew it Myles placed a gentle but passion filled kiss on Lucy lips

"Please believe me Luce I'm sorry and I love you" he had whispered to her before leaving the room

Lucy sat on bed and cried as she remembered her day, all the emotions of the past few hours were suddenly released and she cried, she cried over the death of two of the most important and heroic people in her life, she cried over never being able to have children, she cried over the fact that she couldn't really feel any sensations in her legs or feet but most of all she cried that she had pushed away the one man she cared about, the one man she needed more than anything, the one man she fought to come back to, the one man who had given her the strength to fight, but more importantly he was the man she loved.

A noise at the door startled her and she turned her head to see a figure standing in the door way, she didn't want to speak to anyone but right now she needed a distraction so signalled for him to come in

* * *

**So then who is visiting Lucy **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok I know I'm bad but I changed the ending in the last chapter so if you've already read it you may want to give it another quick glance - it doesn't really fit with this chapter as this one is Myles but it will link to the next one **

* * *

Myles sat in his car sobbing as once again his emotions gripped him like a vice, Lucy really hated him at the moment and he couldn't blame her, he hated himself for what happened, she had the right to the accident was his fault, but even though she was pushing him away he still loved her, he still wanted to be with her, feel close to her yet right now there was something keeping him away, keeping him from going back into the hospital and sitting with her, his own stubborn pride. Instead he thought of something productive to do instead, something that would not only make him feel better but also allow him to get close to her with having her push him away.

Seeing Sue and Jack about to enter the hospital he called out, he knew what he could do

"Jack" causing him to turn and Sue to follow his gaze

"Myles, are you alright?" Sue asked concerned when she saw his red eyes and tear stained face

"Not really, she threw me out; she is refusing to see me"

"Oh I'm sorry Myles, she doesn't mean it, it's just she's hurting right now" Sue comforted

"I know, I want to do something to make her realise I'm not going anywhere, so have either of you got a key for her place. I thought I'd go and get her some personal items, make her feel more relaxed and then hopefully she'll agree to see me"

"I think that's a great idea Myles", Sue added softly, "Here I still have my key" she continued handing him the silver key

"Thank you Sue" he replied smiling back and heading towards his car

"Honey" Jack said touching her arm when he left, "Go with him, I think he needs a gentle heart right now and you have the gentlest heart I know."

"Ok, I'll go, I'll see you later" she replied kissing him softly on the cheek before calling after Myles and meeting him at his car

"Sue what are you doing here?"

"I thought you'd like the company" she replied as she got in

Myles didn't respond but his small smile made Sue realise he was happy she was there. A short ten minute drive later Myles and Sue were walking the door to Lucy's apartment.

"So any ideas on what to take to her?" Sue asked

"I don't know a few clothes and toiletries" Myles answered figuring that if he was in this position that was what he would want

"Ok, so how about you go and get her some items from the bathroom and I'll get some clothes" Sue added with a smile.

Myles nodded and made his way into the bathroom where he managed to locate her toothbrush, hairbrush, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, razor and her bathrobe which when he picked it up could still sense the subtle fragrance of her perfume and he couldn't help but inhale deeply and once again his tears fell freely and he was thankful Sue couldn't hear him cry as he sat on the edge of the bath of course what he hadn't counted on was Sue walking into the bathroom

"Oh Myles" she said walking up to embracing him into a hug "It's ok, she'll come around she just hurt that's all and looking for someone to blame"

For once in his life Myles let go of his pride and sobbed in Sue's arms finally allowing all the grief and guilt over the last few days to be released.

"You ok" she asked when he finally stopped crying

"Yes, I just don't know what I'm going to do"

"Do you love her Myles?"

"As much as Jack loves you"

"Then take it from me don't waste time trying to figure out what is wrong or what to do about it just concentrate on fixing it"

"How can I do that when she want even talk to me, want even let me visit her"

"There are other ways of communicating with someone Myles, letters for example, maybe that is what you should and I'm sure one of us will find a way of giving it to her" she added with a wink

"You're right Sue"

A few moments later he straightened himself up, the facade returning and he exited the bathroom Lucy's dressing gown still in his hand, Sue following closely behind him.

"You ready to go?" Myles asked when Sue came back into the room

"Nearly let me go and get the bag from the bedroom" Sue replied, there was obviously more he needed to say but she knew pushing him right now was not good, she just hoped he would eventually open up to someone soon

"I'll go, Jack will never forgive me if I let you carry it and something happened to you or the baby" Myles replied before exiting the living room and walking into Lucy's bedroom, though it was more because he needed a few minutes to himself

As he walked through her door, the scent of her perfume hit him like a punch. Sue had obviously done a good job gathering clothes for her as the bag on the bed looked full. Walking towards the bed he placed the dressing gown on chair and leant over to pick up the bag when something on the bedside table caught his eye. His curiosity getting the better of him he walked over to see what it was and smiled at what he saw. It was a necklace he had given her when they were together hanging on a heart shaped picture frame, sure many people wouldn't think much of it but to him it gave him hope, gave him something to cling to, something to fight for, them. Taking the chain in his hand he held it tight and placed it in the top pocket of his shirt, swiping at those tears that once again threatened to fall.

Not wanting Sue to see him crying for the second time in a matter of minutes he took a few moments to compose himself once again, seeing her pillow he picked it up and held it close to his chest as he sat on her bed within moments his body had given in to the fatigue and he was lying on the bed it wasn't long before the sleep that had evaded his body for the past four days took him over and he fell into a dream filled sleep.

Sue wondering what was taking Myles so long went into the bedroom where she saw him asleep, his head on one of Lucy's pillows, his body holding the other, taking Lucy's dressing gown off the chair where he left it she gently placed it over him and let him sleep, being this close to Lucy was just what she thought he needed right now and considering the small smile developing on his face she figured she was right.

**PLEASE REVIEW - THEY REALLY DO MAKE ME SMILE :-) (see)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the delay guys life is manic at the moment**

**Like I said you may want to re-read the end of chapter 13 but if you don't she never made the phone call insteads she lifts her head to see a man standing in the doorway **

* * *

Lucy lifted her head and met the gaze of the man standing in the doorway

"Can I come in Luce?"

"Yes, Jack you can come in" she answered "Where's Sue?" she asked when she realised Jack was alone

Jack slowly approached the bed and sat in the same plastic chair he had not a few hours ago and he knew he had to approach this very carefully and cautiously

"Well" Lucy's voice asked again breaking his train of thought

"She's with Myles; he needed help with something, something he's doing for you. He's a mess Luce"

"I know" she replied sadly, but the venom in her voice returned as she continued "Whatever it is I don't want it. I don't want anything from him" as she finished she looked around the room, at her legs, at the wall, she looked anywhere but at Jack knowing that if she did he would see the truth in her eyes.

Jack looked at one of his closest friends, she was hurting and right now he needed to help her, he just didn't know where to start, maybe he should have gone with Myles and Sue should be the one talking to Lucy but as he pictured the look on Myles's face from just moments ago he knew that the right decision had been made, he also knew that look in her eyes she didn't hate Myles and he knew it now all he had to do was get her to admit it and reassure her that he felt the same way.

"Lucy can I ask you a question?" Jack asked, hoping it would give him a way in, a way of getting her to admit her true feelings

"You can ask doesn't mean I'm going to answer it"

Jack ignored her response asked "Why are you pushing him away if you're in love with him?"

Lucy locked eyes with Jack "I'm not in love with him Jack"

Jack laughed "Yeah right Luce, this is me you are talking to now, I know you're in love with him"

"And what makes you so sure of yourself Hudson?"

"Because you have the same look in your eyes that I had for three years and that I still have whenever my wife is in the room, or whenever someone mentions her name, or even when I think of her, it's the look of true love Luce and you have that look whenever I mention his name even though you are trying your best to hide it, it's still there, I can see it"

Lucy looked at him the stubbornness and defiance covering her facial features once more "I do not have that look Jack. I haven't..."

"Myles" Jack interrupted causing her features to soften, her eyes to glisten slightly and a small smile to appear on her face, that caused Jack to smile "Now tell me you're not in love with him" Jack continued

Lucy sighed and glared at Jack, she knew he had her beat and that now there was no point denying what she feeling anymore and more to the point she didn't have the energy

"Fine I'm in love with him, I'm in love with Myles, I'm so in love with him that the thought of not being with him is driving me insane, I'm so in love with him that I hate the fact that I'm pushing him away that I'm driving him away when all I want to do is hold on to him for dear life, to tell him that I love him, that I want to spend eternity with him, that on some subconscious level it was him that gave me the strength to fight this, to wake up, to come back, to not give in so that he and I could be together, that, well to be honest, I don't think I ever stopped loving him. Is that what you wanted to hear Jack? Is that what you wanted me to say?"

Jack softened his features and tried to hide the smile on his face "Yes it is Luce, so why are you pushing him away if you feel this way about him?"

Lucy tore her gaze from Jack once more it was hard enough telling him she was in love with Myles, never mind telling him the reason, well more like excuse, why she was using for pushing him away. Jack took her hand when he saw her break contact with him

"Luce?"

Turning her teary eyes towards Jack she spoke in a whisper so quiet Jack struggled to hear her "Because he deserves better than me, better than this" before allowing her emotions to spool over as she cried

Jack moved and sat next to her on the bed pulling him into his side as she cried "Shh come on Luce its ok" he soothed as he rubbed her back "What do you mean he deserves better than you, I've seen you and him together Luce, you're a perfect fit"

Lifting her head from Jack's arm so replied "We used to be a perfect fit, but not anymore Jack, not now that I'm damaged goods"

Jack gazed at his friend that was why she was pushing him away she felt unworthy of him since the accident, "Is that what you think Luce? That you're damaged because of what the accident has done to you or more to the point may have done to you because as of yet Luce there are no guarantees?"

"There is one guarantee Jack that I'm never going to be able to my own child. I'm not going to be able to experience the feelings you and Sue are going through at the moment and I can't do that to him Jack. I know he wants children some day and I cannot give them to him so it is easier and better in the long run if he forgets about me and meets someone who can give him his own family."

Jack pulled her into him once more, this was why, it was all down to this one reason, she didn't hate him, she was thinking of him, of his future, of his life that was why she pushed him away she didn't want him to stay with her knowing she couldn't give something he wanted, but by doing so she was denying him the only thing he truly wanted, her.

"Luce" he spoke softly causing her to lift her head and look at him "Luce, you are pushing him away for nothing"

"What do you mean Jack?"

"I mean that you are pushing him away and you don't need too. I spoke to Myles two days ago. I asked him whether he loved you, which he does by the way, in fact he said that he loves you as much as I love Sue. I also asked him if his feelings towards you had changed since learning you couldn't have children"

"What did he say?" Lucy asked in a gentle whisper

"He said no they hadn't changed and that sure your own children would be a magical gift but he also pointed out that there were children in this world who are desperately in need of two parents who love them, who need a loving home and that together you and he could do that, you two together could give them the love and security they desperately need. So don't think that just because you can't have children it makes Myles love you less because it doesn't, in fact I think it makes him love you more."

"Are you sure he said that" Lucy asked her emotions rising again "You're not just saying that to make me see him are you?"

"Lucy, how long have you and I known each other?"

"I don't know eight maybe nine years! Why?" she asked slightly confused

"Right a long time and in those eight or nine years have I ever lied to you?"

Lucy thought for a moment as she tried to find the answer to that question, "No, you've always told me the truth, always been honest with me"

"Then why would I start now" he responded with a smile "I promise you Lucy, hand on heart, Myles loves you, more than you realise and you not being able to have children does not change that fact so stop punishing him and yourself by pushing him away because one day you may not get another chance, look at all the wasted years Sue and I went through, we missed out on so many magical moments because we let our own prides and a non-existent policy get in the way of our happiness don't let that happen to you, don't let your own doubts stop you from getting what you want, because what Sue and I have now, you and Myles deserve that and you deserve it together."

Jack moved off the end of the bed as his phone rung leaving Lucy to digest what he had told her, "Lucy that was Sue she needs me to pick her up, Myles has fallen asleep on your bed, holding your pillow to his heart surely that alone tells you how much he loves you"

Lucy sat listening to Jack, he was right, she wanted what Jack and Sue had and she wanted it with Myles, she needed to stop pushing him away and tell him how much she loved him. As Jack approached the door she called out

"Jack, I'll try ok, I need to think about what you said and what I want, right now I just need to focus on what the tests are going to reveal tomorrow, then I'll decide whether or not to see him"

"That's all I ask Luce, that you will at least consider the options you have"

As Jack left Lucy placed her head on pillow the conversation with Jack hadn't gone exactly the way she planned, she had, had no intentions of confessing everything to him when he walked through the hospital door but he had at least giving her something to consider, she had pushed Myles away because she didn't want to force him into the future she now had, a future without children, without a family of her own but now thanks to Jack she realised that didn't matter to him. Closing her tired eyes she drifted into a dream filled sleep her head swimming with happiness as she dreamt about what her life would be like with Myles in it, sure it was full of struggles and disappointments but it was a lot better than the life she had at the moment, a life without him in it.

* * *

**Please review you know they make me smile**


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry for the delay guys RL is mega hectic at the mo xx

* * *

Myles opened his eyes and found he was lying in an unfamiliar bed which at the same time felt strangely familiar or at least the scent of the bed and whatever was covering him was. As he sat up in the bed and took in his surroundings he could see why the scent was familiar, he was in Lucy's bed, in Lucy's room, it was her scent, a scent he knew well, a scent he loved as much as the woman whose scent it was.

Turning his attention to the bedside table his eyes once again transfixed on the same heart frame only this time instead of seeing the necklace, which was now safely stored in his pocket, his gaze transfixed on who was in the frame. It was him and Lucy from the early stages of their previous relationship.

'Could she actually still love me or is it that she just likes the picture' he thought silently to himself. Leaning forward with Lucy's bathrobe still covering him picked up the frame, running his fingers around the outer shape

"I'm still here Lucy; I'm going to keep fighting you until you agree to see me. Don't think you are going to get rid of me by simply yelling at me. When you love someone as much as I love you it is going to take a lot more. A whole lot more."

As he finished he sat up, picked up the bag and headed out of the bedroom where he was expecting to see Sue but instead found an empty apartment and a note on the table

_**Myles,**_

_**See note writing is easy. Give it a try, write her a letter and one of us will make sure she gets it. Jack and I are here if you need us. **_

_**Take care Sue**_

Myles re-read the note over and over before deciding to sit at the dining table and start writing. Forty minutes and six discarded attempts later he was done but he was determined to give it her himself no matter how long it took.

Once he was done Myles left Lucy's apartment with a determination he never knew he had to see Lucy. A short drive later Myles arrived outside Lucy's room where he could see that she and Caroline Adams were in the middle of what seemed like a very important conversation and he didn't want to interrupt, so he sat on the chair and waited for them to finish.

In the small room just in front of where Myles was, Lucy sat in her bed staring at the doctor in front of her waiting for the start of a conversation that could change her life, change the way she lived her life

Caroline Adams, her doctor, had asked her friends to give them the space to talk this morning. Slowly she approached the bed

"Good Morning Lucy. How are you this morning?"

Lucy sighed, sure she could lie and say everything was fine but Caroline was a doctor she would see through her lies in an instant so decided honesty was the best policy

"A little sore in the rib area and to be honest I am a little scared as to what you are going to tell me about my spinal tests"

"With all your body has gone through pain is a given. As for the spinal injury, Lucy we have had the results back from your scans and tests and we are now able to give a more accurate diagnosis"

"Ok, I'm ready"

"Lucy the scans have shown you have minor damage to your nervous system which is why at the moment you cannot feel any sensation in your feet and legs, however the damage is very minimal and we are very hopeful that with some intense physiotherapy you should regain full use of your legs"

Lucy took a deep breath, it wasn't the news she wanted but she also knew it could have been worse, a lot worse in fact but she still needed to know more "Will I need a wheelchair?"

Caroline nodded "You will, but how long is down to you. It will depend entirely on how much work you put in. How hard you work with your physio and more importantly how much support you have from 'everyone' around you"

Lucy couldn't help the small smile as Caroline emphasised the word 'everyone' "I suppose you're right I will need everyone, including Myles, but at the moment I can't see him. I need a few days to strategise and get my own head around this news and then I may call him"

"I strongly urge you too. I can see how much you mean to him. He didn't leave this hospital for three days so just talk to him, you don't have to see him just yet, but just tell him and explain you need time" Caroline answered

"I will think about it right now I just need a day or two"

"Ok, well if you have no more questions I will see you later I have some patients I need to see"

"No there is nothing at the moment. Thank you"

Caroline smiled as she left the room and Lucy to her thoughts about what the doctor had told her the same few words going around in her head

'Minimal damage! Wheelchair! Physiotherapy!' but she was determined to fight this. She was determined to walk again. The only questions she needed to answer now were 'could she do it and more to the point did she want to do it without Myles?'

As Caroline exited the room and left Lucy to her thought she was not in the least bit surprised to see Myles sat there

"Myles, Hello I didn't see you there earlier I'm sorry if I ignored you"

"Hello Caroline no you didn't ignore me I've only just arrived, you were already in with Lucy, Um How is she?"

"She's doing well; obviously I cannot disclose the nature of her injuries without my patients consent"

"Yes I understand that, any chance she's is going to let me in"

"At this moment in time it doesn't look good I'm sorry. I have just given her some new details regarding her condition which she does need time to process so my advice would be give her a few days and try again"

Myles sighed he didn't want to wait, he needed to see her now, to hold her in his arms and make all the pain she was feeling go away, but he loved her enough to know she needed space

"Ok, in the mean time can you give her this and just tell her I'll be there when she's ready" he said handing her the bag with the items he and Sue had packed for her

"Of course, now as a doctor I suggest that you take the few days to eat a proper meal and get a proper night's sleep. When Lucy agrees to see you she will need a lot support from you so you need to be healthy"

Myles nodded and with a heavy heart he headed back towards his car.

Caroline Adams walked back into Lucy's room and handed her the bag in her hands

"A little something from Myles who will be there when you are ready" she said with a grin

Lucy smiled and took the bag from her "Thank you" she said as Caroline left the room

Lucy sat on her bed looking through the bag Myles had put together for her with Sue's help, everything she would need was in there clothes, toiletries, her own towel and more importantly her favourite bathrobe which no matter how she was feeling always managed to feel better, so she immediately pulled it on, on doing so she was hit by a masculine scent which to her was strange but also reassuring and comfortable, it made her feel comfortable, by why, breathing the scent in deeper she knew who it was and why she felt so at ease it was the scent of the man who held her heart, the scent of Myles Leyland and that wall she had built against him since the accident slowly but surely started to fall.

* * *

Please review x x x I love reading them and I will do my best to respond to them all x


	17. Chapter 17

OMG I am so sorry guys life has been so hectic lately between work, uni, a hubby with a broken leg, two kids and my own illness life has been sooooooo demanding lately, I now have a week off so hopefully I should get a few chapters up this week

* * *

"I can't do this" The woman sat in the chair cried for the fourth time that session

"Lucy you say that every session and have already said it three times today and for the fourth time yes you can" The tall, dark haired man answered

"I really hate you" Lucy laughed back

"You've said that a few times today as well"

Lucy took a deep breath, Richard, her physiotherapist had been so lovely the first few sessions they had together, he had concentrated more on getting the strength back in her legs, but for the last two days he had been trying to get her to stand up out of the chair she was sat in and walk just a meter to where her wheelchair had been placed but there was something inside her that was making her scared and almost afraid to just encase she fell and injured herself even further, even though she had done already managed to do it twice, placing her foot on the floor she tried to stand but once again her nerves overtook her and she stopped herself.

"Come on Lucy, you can do it, you did it yesterday, you can do it today, I'm right here by the side of you, you and I both know I'm not going to let you fall, so please try"

"Richard has anyone ever told you, you are a slave driver"

"Everyday" he replied with a smirk "most days it's you who is saying it"

Lucy took another deep breath a once again placed her shaking feet on the floor and with one last look towards the face of her physiotherapist managed to muster enough strength to pull herself up off the chair, with Richard's arm for support, and stand in between the two long metal silver poles. Placing a hand on each pole she steadied herself

"Told you, you could do it" Richard remarked "So you ready to walk?" he asked

Lucy looked around the room and tried to judge how many steps it would take her to reduce the safety and comfort of her wheelchair, she judged it couldn't be more than ten steps away, the same amount it had been earlier and yesterday

"Do I have much choice in the matter?" she asked Richard dryly

"Not really, no" he responded with his usual sarcastic tone that reminded her so much of Myles and that was not what she needed right now, she wanted to concentrate on walking again and not what her heart was screaming at her.

"Ok, I'm ready" she stated "and you're not going to let me fall right?" she asked once more the shakiness still evident in her voice

"No, Luce I'm not going to let you fall. I'll be right here behind you and Oliver is right in front of you" he replied pointing to his blonde haired colleague who was stood a few inches in front of Lucy.

"Just take it slowly, just like this morning ; there is no rush; I'll starve just for you" Richard added using his sarcastic wit once more since he knew how much that seemed to relax Lucy

Lucy took another deep breath and gently moved her right foot a few centimetres in front of her followed by the left, then the right and left once more, her breathing sped up and a few times she felt as though she was going to fall but true to their word Richard and Oliver were never too far away and sure enough ten short, hard, long steps later she was back in the security and stability of her wheelchair.

"Ready to go back the other way" Richard asked with a grin on his face

"Please tell me, you are joking" Lucy replied a little breathless from having to work and struggle so hard

"No, come on up you get walk back the other way and then I promise you can rest while we do some more strengthening exercises"

"Slave driver" Lucy quipped

Taking another deep breath she pulled herself up with only a slight assistance from Richard and grabbed hold of each pole before taking another ten, slow, hard steps towards the other end of the walk where, thanks to Oliver, her wheelchair was now placed.

"Great job Lucy" Richard praised "I know that's the first time you have completed two runs. How do you feel?"

"A little out of breath but ok" Lucy answered

"Yes the breathlessness will reduce its only because you leg muscles have to work so hard to manage each step but as we progress that will subside. So ready for some strengthening exercises?"

"If I really must"

A further hour later Lucy and Richard had finished their session and Lucy felt exhausted

"Ok Lucy we're done for today so do you want to try walking back?" Richard asked hopefully

Lucy shook her head, "I can't Richard I'm really tired, I feel so low on energy and really hot"

Richard felt her head and agreed she did have a slight temperature "Ok, I'll get Olly to push you back and I'm going to ask Caroline to call in on you, make sure everything is alright. How else do you feel?" He asked slightly concerned

"OK just tired, my head does hurt a little and a feel slightly sick" she replied her words slightly slurred

"Ok well get some rest and when someone comes to see you next can you ask them to fetch you a swimsuit in and we'll try some hydrotherapy it gives the same results but the water helps with the movements and you want get so out of breath and tired"

"Sure no worries" she responded still slightly shaky and weak

A few moments later Lucy found herself back in her hospital bed, she had just about settled when her doctor Caroline Adams entered the room

"Hi Lucy, Richard told me you were feeling a little off so asked me to come check up on you. How are you feeling now?" she asked concerned at how pale and tired Lucy looked

"Really tired, weak, my head hurts, I feel really warm to touch but I'm freezing cold, I feel quite dizzy and sick"

"Ok when did this start?" Caroline asked

"I don't know really, but I know I felt worse after when Richard asked me to walk back towards my chair"

"Ok, I'm going to ask the nurse to take some bloods so I can check your iron levels but you could have had a very mild panic attack at the thought of having to do something new in physio. It's your bodies' way of trying to cope. I'm not going to give you anything for them at the moment because it was so mild; however, if you have any more symptoms I need you to inform the nurse. A conversation with a friend might help to, talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. You have had a lot to deal with in the last few days and keeping it all back is not going to help your recovery I can refer you to a grief counsellor if you want but I would prefer if you spoke to a friend or colleague."

"OK, I think about it" Lucy replied with a roll of her eyes at Caroline's attempt to talk to 'a friend' and Lucy knew she meant Myles

"I think you need to get some rest" Caroline added "I'll come by later and check on you"

"Thank you Caroline, I'll try"

A few moments later Caroline left and the nurse had taken her blood, thus leaving Lucy to rest for a few hours in the hope of regaining some of the energy she was seriously lacking.

* * *

**Please review you know that they make me smile :-)**


	18. Chapter 18

**So so so sorry everyone I've been in hospital for a week so was unable to do anything with this - I came out on Sunday night and finally managed to get something written**

**anyway hope you like it **

* * *

Lucy lay in her bed trying to sleep, she could feel her eyelids getting heavy and the sickness drawing in but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't fall into the sleep her body so desperately craved. It was as if she had gone back to her childhood when she would fight against her mother as she tried to put her to bed even though she was tired. Moving slightly higher in the bed she tried another position but still sleep evaded her.

Deciding she had had enough of trying she picked up the book Sue had fetched her and began reading hoping that would help. Three hours and eight chapters of her book later she gave up trying to sleep and called the nurse over asking for a pen and paper, deciding that if her body wasn't going to let her sleep she may as well make a list of everything she needed to plan and organise for the funeral, but she also didn't want to do it alone so called Sue to help.

"Excuse me nurse" she called out

"Yes Miss Dotson" The short dark haired woman asked as she approached the bed, "is everything alright? Do you need something?" she asked concerned for the patient

"Un yes please, could I have a phone I need to make a phone call"

"Yes of course just give me a second and I'll fetch one" she replied as she exited the room through the door and came back a few seconds later pushing a black phone table "There you go dear" she stated as she put the phone in front of Lucy

"Thank you, um I know this is dumb but how does it work" Lucy asked feeling stupid

"Its not dumb dear but you press the star button and first and then dial the number you want" she replied with a slight smile

"Thank you" Lucy replied and watched as the nurse went back to the station she had previously been working at. Picking up the hospital phone she pressed the star button before calling her best friend at home knowing that even if Sue was alone Levi would alert her of the call.

"Hello, Sue" she said as the voice on the other end answered

("No Luce its Jack, Sue's resting she's been feeling unwell all day with sickness so I've sent her to bed. Anything I can help with?")

"What Sue's sick? Is she ok Jack" she asked the concern evident in her voice

("She's fine Luce, we were working on a pretty tough case this morning and with the driving we had to do she just started to feel sick and dizzy by the time we got home she was practically asleep so I carried her to bed she's been asleep a while. So can I help at all?")

"Um sure, I think, yeah, no, not really, um no never mind, take care of Sue I'll do it myself"

("Luce, first of all breathe, secondly just tell me what's wrong I think you and I have known each long enough not to have any secrets")

"It's just I wanted to start planning the funerals for Mom and Grams and wanted her help with the arrangements"

("I can come to you and help if you want, but you know there is one other member of the team who understands all this stuff more than anyone..Maybe you could him a call..I happen to know he miserable at the moment Luce and could really do with talking to the person he misses the most") Jack replied in a slight teasing yet concerned voice

Lucy went silent, Jack was right Myles would be the most help with this but was she ready to see him, did she want to see him, could she even handle seeing him while planning the funeral

("Luce") Jack's voice bought her back from her thoughts

"Ah, what oh sorry Jack I was just thinking"

("So are you going to call him?")

And for the first time since the accident she answered him with words that even shocked her "Yes, I think I might just do that"

("Woah! Did you just you just actually say you were going to call Myles") Jack asked just as surprised as she was

"I think I did, yeah I'm going to call him, I need him here with me Jack, no I want him here with me, so know what do I do, Will he even talk to me? Jack what shall I do?"

("First of all calm down, secondly yes he is dying to hear from you Luce he misses you, thirdly you should hang up this phone and call the man you and I both know you're in love with.")

"You're right Jack, I'll talk to you soon then, give Sue my love and tell her I'll talk to her tomorrow"

("I will, goodnight Luce")

"Oh Jack one more thing"

("Yeah")

"Thanks"

("Anytime Luce") Jack replied as he hung up the phone and hearing Sue moving about upstairs practically sprinted up the stairs to tell his wife the latest development between her best female friend and the man who held her heart.

Lucy hung up the phone and pulled out her diary from her bag where she kept a secret photo of Myles in the back section and just stared at it wondering if she really did want to call him or was the lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion effecting more than she realised and she could actually handle planning a double funeral alone. Looking into the eyes of the man who held her heart she realised she didn't want to so pick up the phone and called the number she knew so well. On the third ring she heard a breath as someone picked up the call and without giving him time to answer she said

"Myles, it's me Lucy, I need to see you, I want to see you; can you come to the hospital please"

"I'm sorry Myles isn't here at the moment can I take a message for you?"

"Oh I'm sorry to bother your night, No thank you, bye" Lucy replied sadly as she hung up

Sitting back on her bed Lucy placed the phone back in the holder and broke down as she realised the voice on the end of the phone was that of a woman...

* * *

Sorry for leaving it there but I will try very hard to update by the weekend *I hope*


	19. Chapter 19

**I know I sound like a broken record but I'm sorry it took so long to get this up - so you want to know who this mystery woman is well read on and maybe you'll find out!**

Myles had spent the last few days' way from the hospital that in itself was hard enough but being away from Lucy was slowly driving him insane. He didn't even have a case to occupy his mind, the only case the team had been involved in for the last few days was with a guy stupid enough to go back to the company he stole from and Jack and Sue had spent a mere two hours chasing him down and getting him back in custody, so here he was again for the fourth day running, pen in his hand, paperwork in front of him and trying to avoid the gazes of Tara who had been watching him intently since the accident.

He sat there a few moments longer when Tara approached his desk "Hi Myles, How are you holding up?" she asked the concern for her friend written over his face

"Bored; fed up; frustrated" he answered in a quiet voice

"I know" she added as she took his hand in hers hoping to give him a least a small amount of comfort "Have you tried to visit her since she asked you to leave?"

"I took the clothes Sue and I packed for her but she still wouldn't see me. I don't know how much longer I can go with not seeing her Tar, I miss her so much, I keep looking at her desk wanting her to be sat there or watch for her walking through the door, but she never does" he trailed off

Tara leaned forward and placed her arm around him in a comforting hug, when doing so she spotted Bobby and D approaching the entrance and motioned her free arm for them to leave and give them some time, which they caught and promptly turned and walked off again

"Thanks" Myles said "I needed that and thanks for sending those two away"

"You caught that hey"

"I'm trained in surveillance remember not much passes these eyes" he replied with a slight smirk

Tara smiled back at his attempted joke and walked back to her desk to call the hospital in an attempt to get more information on Lucy that may or may not help Myles' current condition and mood. A few moments later she hung up the phone and walked back to him

"Well" he asked as she sat on the edge of his desk

"She's doing better; physio is going well, he's pushing her hard hoping to get the strength back in her legs so she can walk again"

"What about that attack she had?"

"It was a mild panic attack but according to her doctor it's nothing a good chat about how she is feeling wouldn't cure."

"Any chance she is going to let me see her?" he asked his normal snobbery voice was replaced with a small, barely there whisper

"Not yet Myles, I'm sorry maybe in another day or two"

"I can't handle this anymore I miss her so much I just want to hold on to, take her into my arms and never let her go again or let her get into any harm. I want to adopt children with her, marry her and live our lives together as one."

"You'll get your chance mate" Bobby voice came from the door, causing Myles to look up and give a half smile that wasn't really there

"Not if she never wants to see me again" he added his voice full of emotion as he got up and fled the bullpen not wanting his colleagues see him breakdown.

Leaving the office he got in his car and headed to the one place he felt comfort and relief, the same place he had spent the last few nights sleeping ever since Sue insisted he kept the key until he was ready to give it back and to make himself at home, Lucy's apartment.

Walking through the door he breathed deeply until his nose and senses could detect the subtle hint of her favourite perfume around the room. Walking into her kitchen he ran his fingers across all the countertops he knew she would have touched but in his mind he was there with her watching as she prepared a meal for them, a large growl from his stomach snapped back from his musing he realised she wasn't there he was alone in her apartment. The same large growl from his stomach made him realise he hadn't eaten a proper meal in six days not since the accident so hunted through her fridge and found the ingredients for a small chick stir-fry a meal he loved and proceeded to get to work. As he hunted through the cupboards a realisation hit him like a punch, and a plan began formulating in his head, grabbing his cell phone from his jacket pocket he made two phone calls the first to Ted finally agreeing to take some time off, the second to someone who would help him and his plan become a reality after a ten minute phone call to this person they agreed to meet at 7pm for coffee and a long discussion.

After a light meal, a long shower and a short nap in Lucy's bed, Myles headed to the coffee shop on the corner of Wilson Ave to meet the woman on the end of his second phone call, they hadn't seen each other in over four years but right now he needed her and the services she could provide him with, only she had the necessary skills to help with his current problem.

**Then again maybe not - please review I promisew you'll know who she is in the next chapter cause its already written**


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry guys I know I promised this chapter wouldn't be long but I've been debating over the ending I've changed it a few times and still don't know if I'm (100%) satistified with it so don't be surprised if in the next chapter I tell you I've changed it**

**So on with the story - and where were we, oh yeah the identity of the mystery woman and what she can do to help Myles xx**

A tall, slim, dark haired woman sat at the corner table in a small cafe in DC waiting for her 'date' to arrive, she was surprised to hear off him after all these years but was also filled with hope that he was ready to love her in the way she had wanted him to over ten years ago when they were both studying at Harvard University. Lifting her gaze she saw him walking through the door. Even now eight years on he still had that proud walk, windblown blonde hair and a wonky smile that made her feel she was nineteen again, standing she hugged the man when he approached

"Myles Leland, it's so good to see you though I must admit your phone call did come as a shock"

"Hi Stephanie" He responded as they sat and ordered two cappuccinos

"So I take it there is a reason you called me so out of the blue" Steph asked gazing into the same blue eyes she found herself lost in all through her time at Harvard

"Yes, I need you Steph, please Steph I need your help with something I can't do alone" his voice trailing and full of emotion by the time he finished talking

"Ok, Myles, Are you ok? Come on tell me what's going on just pretend we're in collage and used to sit up for hours just talking. I said back then that I would always be there for you and well nothing's changed"

Myles took a deep breath and began to speak

"It all started last Tuesday. I was interviewing a suspect that had attacked Anne"

"Anne, my goodness is she ok?" Steph asked interrupting him

"She's fine now, she was raped and beaten pretty badly on her way home from work two weeks ago I didn't even know the suspect was the same guy until he started bragging about how much she had enjoyed it and as you can probably guess I lost it and practically attacked the guy in the interview"

"I can understand that even though it probably wasn't the smartest idea you ever had"

"I know. Anyway back to last Tuesday. I came back into the office in a foul mood and blew up at Lucy"

"Who's Lucy?" Steph asked trying to hide the jealousy in her voice

"She's a woman I work with and last Tuesday I yelled at her and she hasn't spoken to me since. She was in a car accident that killed both her mother and grandmother"

"I heard about that accident on the news the drive was distracted by her phone and crashed into a van"

"Yes that's it the phone call she was distracted by was from me trying to apologise. I caused the accident, I killed her mother and grandmother if I hadn't have called everything would be fine and she would be at work and not ignoring me and refusing to see me"

"Myles you can't blame yourself accidents happen, people die. I know this is a hard time but why do you need my help"

"Because Lucy is currently in a wheel chair with no feeling in her legs, she can't walk Steph and neither her apartment nor my house is accessible for someone in a wheel chair even if it is only temporary, that's why I need you Steph. I want you and your building company to make it easier for her to live there. I know you specialise in making places accessible for wheel chair users and that what I want to do. I need you to lower worktops, lower sinks, change the showers so she can get in and out more easily. I want to make her life as easy as possible when she comes home even if it is her own apartment and not my house."

"This is a huge job Myles but without seeing both places I can't tell you if it's possible or how much it will cost. Can I ask why are you doing this if she is refusing to talk to or even see you?"

"Because I need to show her that I am head over heels in love with her Steph. I miss her like mad, not seeing her is driving me crazy and I need to do something that will show her I never want to be without her in my arms again. I understand that it will be expensive Steph but I don't care if I end up bankrupting myself as long as she forgives me and loves me for the rest of our lives, so can you do it"

"Sure just let me get in contact with the chief builder, to meet us there, which is closer"

"My place is closer, 10, East Hay Street"

"Ok" Stephanie answered before taking out her phone and calling Jim Arnold, the head builder to meet them at Myles house

A short ten minute walk later Myles and Stephanie walked through his home and began looking around discussing the changes he wanted to make to his kitchen, front steps and bathroom to make wheelchair access easier. Stephanie was in the middle of taking measurements in the kitchen when Jim arrived

"Jim, hi, Myles Leyland meet Jim Arnold the builder who will be carrying out most of the work with his team, Jim Arnold meet Myles Leyland an old friend of mine"

The two men shook hands and greeted each other warmly.

"So" Myles asked in hope "Can it be done?"

"Before I answer that question Myles I need to know do you own this home. Do you pay a mortgage or rent?" Stephanie asked before she gave Myles any inclination of whether or not his plan could be put in motion

"Neither it's my home I own it outright"

"In that case there is no problem with making the changes and adjustments here. Now with Lucy's place there may be a small problem. The law states that if an apartment or home is rented by the occupant no physical changes can be made to that property without the owner's consent so does Lucy own or rent her apartment, I need to know before I can make any changes or take any measurements, the company would be in a lot of trouble if I did"

"To be honest Steph I'm not 100% sure I know her and Sue were renting when they lived together but now I don't know"

"Then you need to find out Myles ask someone who would know"

"Ok give me a second" with that he took out his cell phone and called Sue, she was her best friend so she would know, after a short conversation with Sue about wanting to make sure Lucy's still had a home to come back to by covering her rent, he hung up the phone and addressed Steph "She rents Steph, is that going to be a problem"

Stephanie looked at Myles and nodded "it is but not an unsolvable one. You need to get in contact with the owner and ask his permission. You need to get a solicitor to draft and co-sign a legal agreement between you, the owner and the building company in charge. I can sort it but it would take at least a week so if you know a lawyer who could do it faster I suggest you use them."

"I do Kim Rafts, she's a company lawyer that worked with Anne, she and I still keep in contact"

"Before you do get in contact with her go and talk to the building manager and get details for the owner and then contact him explaining what you want to do, the time scale which will be roughly two weeks and the cost which will be approximately $8000 since that's what it will cost to do the same work here, tell him you'll be covering the expenses which could be more or less depending on the size of the rooms and how much work will need doing and I suggest you do it know because the quicker you get their permission the faster we begin" Steph explained

"Ok I'll go and see him now" Myles answered "I'll call when I know more"

"Ok, take Jim with you and if the owner agrees, he can at least look around and get a more accurate picture to work from. If you don't mind I'll stay here take more measurements and start making calls to the plumbers and contractors so we can start work on your bathroom in the morning. The sooner we start here the quicker we get finished"

"Ok, I'll call my home number when I know more" Myles answered before he and Jim left his home and headed towards Lucy's apartment, on route he called Kim Rafts who said she would get the legal agreement written ready. On Entering the building he was met by the manager who he later discovered was the owner and he agreed that providing the work would not interrupt other tenants in the building he would give permission for them to go ahead with the alterations. Taking out his cell phone he called his home only to be met by the busy signal. Not wanting to waste any time waiting both he and Jim headed back to his house.

Stephanie looked around the home of Myles and she knew there was no way the work was going to start here she would use her feminine charms to convince Myles to start at Lucy's place and work on his when hers was done hoping by then he would forget about Lucy and turn to her instead. As she looked around at the masculine furniture the phone rang and figuring it was Myles calling with news, picked up the receiver and a woman's voice came on the end before she even had chance to speak and respond

("It's me Myles, I need to see you, I want to see you; can you come to the hospital please")

"I'm sorry Myles isn't here at the moment can I take a message for you?"

("No thank you, bye") the voice on the end of the phone replied before the line went dead

Ten minutes after she ended the call Myles and Jim walked back through the front door, not that she noticed them she was too busy trying to decide whether or not to tell Myles about the call since she figured it must have been Lucy especially when she mentioned the hospital

"Steph, I tried to call ten minutes ago but the line was busy, did someone call and leave a message for me?" Myles asked and gaining no response called again "Steph!" but still he got nothing, walking over to her he placed a hand on her arm "Steph"

"Yeah" she asked as she came back to reality

"I tried calling but the line was busy, I asked if someone called and was there a message"

"Sorry, I was thinking, yes the phone rang"

"Who was it" Myles asked his heart leaping as he waited and hoped it was Lucy finally forgiving him and wanting to see him

"It was a wrong number, just someone wanting a cab"

**OOOOOO BITCH!  
**

**Please review x **


	21. Chapter 21

***slaps own hands at not posting sooner***

**Only a short one cause I want to do a flipped one of Myles/Jack and Sue/Lucy happening at the same time **

Lucy sat in the bed as she tried to figure out who this woman was spending time with the man she was destined to be with but she had no luck the voice was unknown to her and suddenly the anger and sadness began to build inside her but she couldn't decide who she was more angry with was it herself for not talking and calling him sooner, was it Myles for betraying and lying to her, telling her he was in love with her one minute and dining and spending time with some unknown tart just a few days later or was she mad at Jack for building her hopes up and practically convincing her that he missed her and she needed him. Yes that was it she was furious at Jack and right now all she wanted to do was yell at him and have Myles hold her. Turning over slightly in the bed she hid herself away from the nurse's gaze and broke down crying out all the emotions that had wanted release since she woke up just four days ago.

She had been crying for so long that she exhausted herself and had fallen asleep waking the following morning to find Jack sat next to Sue at the side of bed

"Hey sleepy head" Sue half smiled as Lucy came round

"Hi" she said groggily, and her voice slightly hoarse from crying

"You ok?" Sue asked seeing how red her eyes were

"No, not really but I suppose you know the reason why" she snapped while glaring at Jack

"Lucy I haven't got a clue, are you ok? Did you call Myles?"

"Yes I called him! And now I have a question for you" She replied once again glaring at Jack "Who was she?"

Jack sat and looked at her confused by her mood and the entire conversation "Her? Her who?" he asked hoping to finally make sense of the situation

"Her that was in Myles' house, that her"

"Lucy I really have no idea who you are talking about" Jack stated trying to reassure her

"Don't give me that crap Jack; you're Jack Hudson mighty team leader I know you know who she is so just tell me" she snapped before turning her head away from the couple

"Lucy I have no idea, he hasn't mentioned her whoever she is"

Sue turned back to Jack and looked at him "Sweetheart can you give us a minute?" she asked him

"Sure honey I'll go and get us some coffee" he replied, before kissing her cheek, patting her swollen tummy and leaving the room.

"Jack" Sue called out before following him out of the room

"What's wrong babe?" He asked when they were back in the corridor

"Swear to me you have no idea who this woman is"

"Babe" Jack replied placing a hand on her swollen tummy "I swear on baby peanuts life, I have no idea who she is" he replied looking her directly in the eyes

"OK, then do me favour"

"For you babe anything"

"Go and find out" Sue replied causing Jack to leave the hospital and for Sue to re-enter Lucy's room, seeing that Lucy still faced way from her Sue placed a hand on her shoulder "Hey come on its just us girls"

Slowly but surely Lucy turned back around and Sue saw the tears on her face

"Oh sweetheart" Sue said before moving up to sit on the edge of Lucy's bed to hold her as she cried

After a few moments Lucy stopped crying and turned her attention back to Sue

"**I'm sorry" **she spoke and signed

"It's ok Luce, now come on what's wrong" Sue asked even though she guessed what the answer would be but she also knew Lucy needed to unload everything she was keeping bottled up before she had another panic attack

"It's just I'm scared Sue, really scared"

"Scared of what"

"Everything, being alone forever because I can't give anyone a child. I'm scared of having to learn to walk again. I feel like I'm never going to be able to do it Sue, Richard is pushing me so hard but I can't feel and don't feel it working, I can't feel anything happening to my legs there is still no sense or feeling there but more than anything I'm scared of losing him Sue"

Sue moved Lucy closer to her and held on to her best friend as all the grief and emotion over the events of the past week came pouring from her in one swoop, Sue could feel the vibrations of her sobs through her arms, could feel the tears from her eyes dropping into her hand and at that moment wished she could just take her pain away. After a few moments Sue felt Lucy sag against her frame and as she looked down towards her could see she had actually cried herself to sleep, so Sue got up off the bed and allowed Lucy to sink down and rest while she read the magazine she had bought, she needed to stay right now, her best friend still needed her.

A few hours later Lucy woke to see her friend still sat in the chair trying to get comfy

"you didn't need to stay" she commented once Sue looked at her

"Do you really think I would leave my best friend here alone the state she was in, never in a million years"

"Thank you, but I'm ok"

"No you're not Luce, look at you, you're shaking"

Glacing down at her hands Lucy watched as they shook with a mixture of nervousness and anger at the woman on the phone

"I just..Its just"

"I know Luce and you will soon, I've sent Jack to find out what's going on, if anyone can he can, he's going to call me when he knows more and I'll be here no matter what happens Luce, but I'm sure you have nothing to worry about"

"If its all so innocent, why was she answering his home phone, that's what scares me the most, the fact that whoever she was, he knows her well enough to let that happen"

"I don't know Luce, but how about we take your mind off it for a while and do a few of these trashy Cosmo quizzes"

"Sure" Lucy laughed

And for the next few hours the two best friends sat in a small white medical room filling in quizzes one of them wondering who the woman was and the other wondering what the heck was she up to and hoping that she hadn't charmed Myles into giving up on Lucy.

PLEASE REVIEW


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry! I changed a little of the last chapter so you may want to give it the once over before reading this x x**

**Quick heads up life is going to be mad for the next four weeks so it may take me a while to get the next post up**

Jack exited the hospital confused following his conversation with Lucy, nothing she was saying was making sense 'What woman' he thought to himself as he drove towards Myles' home

"I really have no idea who she is, I haven't seen him with another woman since that reporter Nancy Albright and that was over five years ago"

As he arrived at Myles' home he noticed all the lights were off and the place looked deserted, the he remembered what Sue had said about him spending more and more time at Lucy' place, so swinging the car around in the street he made his way towards Lucy's place, which sure enough was where he was, there was no mistaking his grey sedan parked outside in the car-park, what confused him was the builder's van also there at this time in the night but figured they simply belonged to one of the other tenants. Glancing up at the window his thoughts about where Myles was were confirmed when he saw him gazing out of the window. Jack parked up the car and headed up the flights of stairs he knew so well, he had climbed them so many times in the past, when 'dropping by' on the off chance Sue was home. A few moments later he was at the door knocking and surprised when a tall, slim dark haired woman answered the door. At first he had thought he made a mistake and had arrived at the wrong door, but when he saw Myles appear from around the corner he knew he was right

"Jack!" Myles said in surprise "What are you doing here? Has something happened to Lucy?" he asked slightly panicked and convinced something was wrong

Jack walked through the apartment to where Myles was stood and practically shoved him in to the bedroom "I need to talk to you now!" he said his voice rising slightly as spoke

Myles not arguing just walked in ahead of him. Once inside he turned to try and speak again but before he could utter a word Jack cut him off

"What the hell are you doing, here of all places, with that woman while the woman you are apparently in love with is lying in a hospital bed still unable to walk, crying her eyes out I might add over the fact that when she called you, something you have waited for since this whole accident nightmare began, some strange woman answered the phone"

Myles looked at Jack his face frowning "Jack, Stephanie is an old friend from Harvard who just happens to own her own building and construction company that specialises in making aesthetic and practical adjustments for people who have a form of disability and what do you mean when Lucy called she hasn't called"

"Myles she called last night" Jack answered simply

Myles sank to the bed "I was here all night Jack she didn't call"

"She called your place, last night and a woman answered the phone"

Myles sat on the edge of Lucy's bed trying to work out what had happened, he thought about everything that had happened yesterday, he had called Stephanie, they met for coffee, he told her what he needed help with, they had gone back to his home to discuss the details, he and Jim had gone to see the building manager, he tried to call but couldn't get an answer cause someone had called a wrong number wanting a cab. Myles placed his hand over his mouth when he realised that he only thought that because it was what Stephanie had told him

"What's wrong" Jack asked when he saw Myles go a little pale

"It was Stephanie"

"That much I gathered what about her?"

"I had to come here last night to check a few legal details before we could start the work, I tried to call but couldn't get through when I came back home and asked her who was on the phone when I tried calling she said it was just someone wanting a cab"

Jack stared at him in disbelief "What, why would she do that? She obviously knows who Lucy is and what has happened to her if she is carrying out this work for her. Doesn't she?"

"Of course she does Jack, I told her what Lucy meant to me and that it was slowly destroying me not being able to speak to her, hold her or even see her I'd settle for that right now. The not being able to help her through this accident is driving me crazy that is why I'm doing this I need to help her somehow"

"I know buddy, and I don't know if this helps but she really wanted to see you last night I think she is finally starting to come around and that she has realised she can't do this without you" Jack replied soothingly "Or at least she did" he added with a slight smile "In the meantime I suggest you have a word with your friend out there. I have to head back to the hospital; Lucy thinks I'm only going for coffee"

"Oh I can assure you I'll be talking to her" Myles replied seriously as Jack headed towards the door "Um Jack, one more thing" he continued rubbing his neck slowly "can you just explain what happened, but don't tell her about what I'm doing here and just ask her to call again and give me another chance"

"I will" Jack replied with a sad smile

"Thanks" he replied and watched Jack leave the apartment before turning and heading into the bathroom where Stephanie was busy giving orders to her worker, Myles walked up behind her and spoke in a low, slightly aggressive tone "A word please" before heading back into the bedroom

Stephanie followed slowly behind "Something wrong Myles?" she asked innocently

Myles turned towards her eyes glaring with anger "Yes there is something wrong, I am going to ask you a question and this time I want the truth"

"Ok" she replied somewhat confused

"I want to know who called last night while I was here"

Stephanie's eyes widened she had thought she had gotten away with lying to him but obviously she was wrong but instead of telling him the truth she simply replied "it was just someone wanting a cab"

Myles moved slowly in front of her "Don't lie to me Stephanie, who called?"

Stephanie stepped back "Someone wanting a cab"

Myles was beginning to lose his patience "I want the truth so I'm asking one last time, and if you want to keep this $8000 contract I suggest you tell me the truth. Who Called?"

"It was..." she looked into Myles' eyes and replied quietly "Lucy"

Myles moved away and sat on the bed slowly "Why did you lie?"

"B because I wanted you to come back to me... I've been in love with you since Harvard, the day you left and we broke up was the worst day of my life, I dropped out of my course, failed my exams, got addicted to anti-depressants and spent a year in rehab I was a mess, but I got clean and was doing well until you called and told me about this Lucy woman you loved and I felt all those feelings from years ago and knew I couldn't go back to who I was so when she called I lied"

"You had no right to do that, it was not your decision to make"

"I felt I had no choice"

"There wasn't a choice to be made Steph, it was my personal call and I had a right to know who it was from"

"I'm sorry Myles"

"It's too late for 'sorry' Steph, thanks to you Lucy thinks I'm betraying her and will probably never talk to me again, so I hope your little deceit was worth it" he said picking up his jacket and walking towards the door

"Where are you going?"

"Hospital, the woman I love wanted to see me last night and hopefully today she still does"

"And if she doesn't, just know I love you and will be here when you get back"

"But the thing is Steph, I don't love you, and at the moment I don't even want to look at you" with that he stormed out of Lucy's apartment, got in his car and drove the journey back to the hospital hoping and praying Lucy would allow him to explain everything.

**Now will she forgive him, review and I might just tell you xx **


End file.
